Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Shall I Do?

I have been away for a few weeks, actually more than a few, more like many. I have been in many thoughts and sensations these past weeks, dazzled with many emotions and feelings, and yet always had the thought of, what is the exact mission and purpose of my blog. I have even considered discontinuing my blog, however I have had a friend and my brother state otherwise. They both told me to continue this ministry and to pursue what God is telling me to do. I have developed a sense of confusion and to be honest with all of you, a complete blank mind on what to do. When I first began this blog, my initial intent was to encourage young girls with emotional, physical, and mental purity, and to be a strong and powerful light for Christ. As months went on, new bloggers approached my blog, new comments were seen, and the vision and purpose which I had gradually shifted to something else. That 'something else' is a thing that I do not even know. I have prayed to God for weeks, just wanting to know my plan and purpose here in life, as well as for my blog. I was very much into my blog months ago, and suddenly, my life has taken shifts, turns, and changes. Situations which I cannot control, and some which I have all the power to handle. What a comfort it is although to just run into the hands of God, crying out all of the tears and hurts, just knowing the there is an ultimate peace and love in the God of salvation. My friends, I highly appreciate your dedication to this blog, even though I have been gone. The comments which I have received are so encouraging, so uplifting, and so refreshing. My words can never thank you enough, some of you I do not even know, but I feel as if I have known you long because the blood of Jesus Christ brings us close together. Yet again, I have turned from the exact meaning of this post. I still do not know what my purpose is for this blog. I do not even know if I am touching lives with this site, perhaps it is something that I want, and God is telling me otherwise. Perhaps you can sense confusion between the words? I know that I do not have to carry the weight of who I am, because God has His all forgiving love on me. At times I feel alone, just wanting to be with God, because that is who I am. I know that I am a treasure in the arms of Christ, and if He wants me to continue my ministry on this blog, then so be it, nevertheless, if I feel a sense of the opposite, then I will choose to follow that call and leading. As I have said before, this is all a thought; God is my source, my hope, and through my struggles He will be there, not letting me go through it alone. Even when I feel like it at times. I call and He hears me, I feel empty, but I'm holding on, because He's with me. Even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, His love will cover me!

God Bless,