What Shall I Do?

I have been away for a few weeks, actually more than a few, more like many. I have been in many thoughts and sensations these past weeks, dazzled with many emotions and feelings, and yet always had the thought of, what is the exact mission and purpose of my blog. I have even considered discontinuing my blog, however I have had a friend and my brother state otherwise. They both told me to continue this ministry and to pursue what God is telling me to do. I have developed a sense of confusion and to be honest with all of you, a complete blank mind on what to do. When I first began this blog, my initial intent was to encourage young girls with emotional, physical, and mental purity, and to be a strong and powerful light for Christ. As months went on, new bloggers approached my blog, new comments were seen, and the vision and purpose which I had gradually shifted to something else. That 'something else' is a thing that I do not even know. I have prayed to God for weeks, just wanting to know my plan and purpose here in life, as well as for my blog. I was very much into my blog months ago, and suddenly, my life has taken shifts, turns, and changes. Situations which I cannot control, and some which I have all the power to handle. What a comfort it is although to just run into the hands of God, crying out all of the tears and hurts, just knowing the there is an ultimate peace and love in the God of salvation. My friends, I highly appreciate your dedication to this blog, even though I have been gone. The comments which I have received are so encouraging, so uplifting, and so refreshing. My words can never thank you enough, some of you I do not even know, but I feel as if I have known you long because the blood of Jesus Christ brings us close together. Yet again, I have turned from the exact meaning of this post. I still do not know what my purpose is for this blog. I do not even know if I am touching lives with this site, perhaps it is something that I want, and God is telling me otherwise. Perhaps you can sense confusion between the words? I know that I do not have to carry the weight of who I am, because God has His all forgiving love on me. At times I feel alone, just wanting to be with God, because that is who I am. I know that I am a treasure in the arms of Christ, and if He wants me to continue my ministry on this blog, then so be it, nevertheless, if I feel a sense of the opposite, then I will choose to follow that call and leading. As I have said before, this is all a thought; God is my source, my hope, and through my struggles He will be there, not letting me go through it alone. Even when I feel like it at times. I call and He hears me, I feel empty, but I'm holding on, because He's with me. Even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, His love will cover me!

God Bless,
Vanessa

Long Time...

Wow, I know it's been a very long time since I have posted anything on my blog, however, my life has gone through a few twists and turns here and there! So many new situations and circumstances have come up these past few weeks! Through all of this going on in my life, I have neglected a few things, however, as I come to the conclusion of it, I find that I have not neglected my blog and other things instead my priorities have shifted majorly. Thus, I will not be posting on my blog for awhile, due to some confusion within my life, something I cannot share with y'all, but must be kept personal, it's a time where God is growing and changing His child, reproving me and molding me to make me more like Him. I'm being tested in many areas spiritually, and mentally I am often dazed and fogged about many things. Thanks for your understanding!

Vanessa

Ah, this Question...

I have been thinking about a post these past few weeks, and as I was doing my daily duties a few days ago, this popped to my mind! I will give this question to anyone willing to answer and participate in a discussion perhaps. I have been having this question awake within my mind for some time already, and finally decided to ask what y'all think about it. I know that many people think differently on this topic, nevertheless, that is not the point, I'm just curious with what you think, and what is Biblical. Thus, for the actual question, "Once saved always saved?" What is your exact opinion and voice on this? I have an opinion, and know other Christians who think otherwise. Without further explanation, be free to voice your thoughts on this. It doesn't have to be directed to me, however, to everyone! I know many that are confused with this, because it is often heard differently when in the gather of believers, or in a congregation of a church.

While You're Waiting...

Lately, since I have been away from the blogging world, I have come to thought of many new posts, many which I should share, and yet a few which I cannot possibly put in words. My mind often comes to a brake and all the thousands of thoughts vanish away for one second, oh how lovely that is, and then suddenly, on point 2 seconds, they return. I have come to a broad conclusion, that we all struggle with thoughts. Some of us more than others. It may be the thought of, "Oh, so much to do!" or perhaps something more common such as, "I wonder where, who, and when, my future spouse is?" I talked to a young lady the other day and she mentioned something like this, "Vanessa, I often find myself thinking of someone I don't even know...I many times think if there will even be a husband for me." The sad thing is, many of us who are single can think upon thoughts like this way too much, and shockingly, before we even realize it, it can become an idol in our thoughts, worrying who is he/she, when is he/she coming, do I already know who he/she is? I am speaking on my behalf, and this is very difficult. I often would like to know myself who he is, nevertheless, I have read an article a few weeks back which stated, "If we are so in love with God, the feeling of wanting to know our future spouse which being single will diminish more and more." Of course, more or likely, we all have desires to be married, those desires are normal because God did create this inner love within us for the opposite sex. This does vary between each of us, and I know from myself, and many others that they have the desire and wanting to get married some day. Although, while waiting for this person, and often dreaming of what the future will be like (girls, this is for you), we need to be very cautious of not taking too quick of a step. Many times we may catch ourselves in thinking of someone perhaps who have captured our eyes, one who may seem like he/she fits all of our qualities which we want in a spouse, someone who we may dream of living with? Yes, it is often exciting, these thoughts, these feelings, nevertheless, please be careful into what your mind tricks you with. Even if you have never had these thoughts or feelings, control your emotions and actions. I spoke with a young lady this past week, "Vanessa, if only I would know who my future husband is, I wouldn't be such a flirt!" Why, cause yourself to be flirty and risky just because you think your future spouse isn't looking. Nevertheless, there is one always looking, and I believe you can answer that yourself...that very one, is Christ Jesus, watching your every step, your every gaze, your every action, your every word, your everything!
I often stare into the air, gazing, or just wondering what the next five years bring, although, this can cause us to become depressed, or even more lonely. Just think, do you possibly believe at this very moment that you can mother children? Or, could you provide for your family? It is difficult to stay pure, many times I feel like riding on a roller coaster, each and every day is different. I had once a young man tell me, "Vanessa, aren't girl's emotions different day by day?" So very true. Our hearts just need to be guarded, and held tight, safe and secure. You do not want to jump into a relationship too quickly, and thus find yourself deeply in love, however, finding yourself later on in life in a mess because many times when two young people are in love, they do not see the mistakes, this is dangerous! You may be 18 and married, or 28 and still walking around single. Whatever age you are, you have your complete purpose in this world, following God and knowing that He has complete charge of your single years, your courtship days, your engagement moments, and your married life. Just keep in mind to not dream upon this man or woman. Sometimes we may think that we already know him/her, and at other times, it is as if not. I speak of that on my behalf, feeling those very words, and often wanting to believe them, nonetheless, I am at the same moment glad that I do not know who he is because, God has a purpose and a will in my life. He has that exact plan for you as well, because He wants your heart, and patience is being learned. Yes, it is important to have a goal for your life, to know what you want to do etc., just play it on the safe side, not going total overboard.
As I sit here today, at the age of 17, my thoughts are often crowding my mind, forming a cloud, and if I allow that cloud to captivate my mind, I do not feel free, nevertheless, burdened. I will not carry the role of courtship in my own hands, God needs to take my future, and I pray that you allow Him to do the same with you. Yes, I do many times imagine what life will be like, and I want my husband to cover me in the Word of God, and to protect me, to guide me and our future family, and so much more. In addition, we are all worry way too much, and our worry and anxiety will often cause us to become lonely and far more. Whoever, your future spouse is, I pray that we will be strong when temptation arises, if you are one of those who waste your single years jumping from guy/girl to guy/girl, boldly and yet the truth, you are causing yourself much hardship. Just because you are young and single, you may believe that flirting with the opposite sex is far normal, think twice. You can't even wait for that special person, you are looking for other relationships, something to satisfy you at this moment. The way you act now, it can possibly affect your future. It is very hard to stay pure, for some physically, and others mentally. Nevertheless, ground yourself in the Word of God, find encouraging words there, seek the counsel of your parents or perhaps your guardian/grandparents, and know that you can do all things through Christ because He gives you strength. Even if you have messed up, and you have realized that you have, you are such an encourager to the ones who are trying to do that which is right the first time. You are to use your single years as a blessing, doing wise doings, serving your family and others, and seeking God day and night. It is so worth the wait, I know that it is hard, however, I long for my future spouse, and I know that when I meet him (Lord willing), I can say that I waited, and he has done the same for me! Our thoughts can cause us to turn bitter, or quite the opposite, to stay joyful because knowing that patience creates a great price!

The Faults of Teenagers...Be Different!

Well, if you haven't noticed how our world is turning more and more worldly, allow myself to share a story that proves it more so!

A few weeks ago my oldest brother, youngest sister, and I were out together. We happened to be sitting next to each other, and the place where we were at, people have always seen Marc and I together, without parents. Nevertheless, a complete stranger came up to us and poised the question, "Is that your daughter?!" I looked at her with total shock and confusion and asked for her to repeat herself again. Thus she did, and because I was so taken back I shot out the words, "NO!" I thought that strong and powerful word, "NO!" would of cut her off, nonetheless, she went on with what she thought...into so much detail. Again she stated, "Oh, I thought you were in a relationship with this guy right here and y'all had this girl as your daughter!" I looked at my brother and was dumbfounded and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, however, these are my siblings." To think that Marc and I married...excuse me!? Here is where I'm going with this, I look far younger than my actual age, most people think of me as either 14 or 15, and my brother perhaps as 17 or 18, and thus this is what they thought. Do you get my point? People these days are beginning to assume that just because you have perhaps your younger sibling(s) with you that they are your children.
It is true that teenagers are becoming parents, instead of waiting patiently for their bride or groom they are letting themselves lose into the parenting world, and not getting married perhaps but continuing to have more children. We have so many teenage pregnancies, and many of these teenagers are not wanting to hold their mistake and take charge, that they believe they can easily get rid of this living being with an abortion! I have heard of young girls being pregnant at 13 or 14, and not only having one but three or four. Are you wanting to save yourself, or are you willing to give it all up with no care, just because you want the desire but have the choice to get rid of the baby? We need to think wisely before we make any mistake, and the topic I am discussing at this moment is very important. Teenagers are wanting a girlfriend or boyfriend and often that relationship gets deeper and deeper and then one morning they are shocked to find out that they will be parents! Many teenagers are not ready to parent a child which is very understandable because of the way they are growing up these days, and this is when they decide to use the quick and fast way to keep their life the same-abortion. However, will it really be the same? No, because how can you deal and live with yourself after you have had an abortion. Knowing that this child is life, a human being! I once heard of a story concerning a young lady and she stated that she had to confess because when she was in college she fell for temptation and her sinful desires caused her to conceive a baby and thus she was in no mood to raise this child and aborted it. Later on in life she found Jesus, and married and had many children of her own and could not live with herself because of what she had done many years before hence. She constantly thinks of this life, the life she threw away carelessly all because she wanted to live her youth. She says, "I would have one more child, another one to care and love for, another one for God's kingdom, how was I so immature and foolish?" It is but all too late. There has been over 40 million abortions since 1973!
Think before your actions. The story above about myself and my siblings is concerning this because the generation these days have the mindset that just because I'm a teenager it means the I have a boyfriend and that just because my sister happened to be with me she definitely must be my daughter. Make a statement with your life, a purpose and a reason. Do not waste your youth with boyfriends/girlfriends and breaking up and then restarting all over again. Make that strong promise and commitment to save yourself for that special person. We are all falling and each of us have sinned, nevertheless, break your temptations, your strongholds. If you struggle with the fact of wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend, and wanting to get deeper with this person, just think, "Will you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her?" Do you want the responsibility of caring for a child at the moment, out of wedlock? Wouldn't you rather have children with the man or woman or your desire and God's plan, once you're married? Allow these questions to ponder within your heart and if God is wanting to work within your life, let Him, don't hold back any fear or pain! We are not ready to father or mother a child in a risky relationship, one out of high school or college, wait until your wedding ceremony and the wedding bed. Let's make a statement for the whole world to see that we are different, and will not participate in the sinful and evil doings of this world. It is hard to often stay emotionally and physically pure, however, the reward thereafter is beautiful and amazing! Do not give your heart or body away, girls this means to dress modestly, because it is giving a guy sexual desires. And when a guy is just for your body he does not love you, because he can't respect your decision for staying pure. Give your heart to the Lord Jesus, because He will satisfy you with His love, it is more than enough. Be careful where your feet trod and if you have a weak back with guys or girls, stay away from trouble! Never ever be alone with the opposite sex, it's not worth it, the consequence is far greater, and it hurts! Imagine having to tell your wife or husband later on in life, "I'm sorry, however, I had another relationship before I knew you, and a child came out of that, although, I chose to abort that baby!" You can save yourself from this hardship, and from the agony of losing a child you once didn't want...with the love of Jesus and the discipline, if you give Him your heart! We live in a world of pressure and confusion, however, you need to stand strong, and not stand on sifted sand!

Anger...Bitterness...Hatred...Yelling...Cussing...IT'S WRATH!

Well, my previous post was about action going on around my house, and yet this post will be the exact same! Something very different, totally out of the ordinary, and awful occurred this morning!

Alright, my youngest brother had a soccer game this morning and everything was going well, normal. They were losing by 2 points however, we were still cheering on. The ball went out on our side where my family was and one of the players from our team goes and gets it. He comes back and suddenly another boy from the other team just slightly kicks him in the lower part of the leg. The boy on our team got furious and with hatred and anger grabbed the player from the other team and gives him a punch in the eye! The sister from this boy who punched the other boy immediately jumped in the field, started cussing her mouth off and grabbed the other boy's t-shirt with hate and gave him the impression to get lost! With in less than a second, the other team's parents/family ran over and got into a Hugh fight with our team's parents/family. Through all of this, my head was shaking back and forth. My family and I were playing neutral and my dad, being the leader tried to calm everyone down. Things got quite out of hand, and yelling, cussing, and anger was all being spilled over this incident. My dad quietly walked away and called the police to come over and settle this matter because if left alone, it would of gotten worse. The girl who intervened within this fight was the main issue because she acted out of control and this is how everything arose. She is only 14 years of age and to hear a mouth like hers was disgusting! The police was there on the soccer field in less than 5 minutes and still, the police officer had to call back up. Once the other one got there everyone slowly began to calm down. Nevertheless, people were still yelling and accusing each other. One lady told my mom, "Oh, this is normal, it runs in the Hispanic blood line!" No excuse! Towards the end of this long and loud fight, the boy which got punched in the eye was crying all his tears out, due to shock and pain. The ambulance came on over and took a look at him and within seconds his eye was swelling. Everyone was fighting with everyone, and tried to get back at each other. My family and I once again, stood in shock! Nonetheless, my dad was one of the spokesmen because he saw most of the accident. Coming to the end of this disruption, my dad humbled himself in front of all these people and in the name of our whole team apologized, even though none of it was personally my family's fault. However, he asked for forgiveness to the family who's little boy got hurt, and even handed out his hand to shake hands and make things come to peace. Although, the father could not overcome his pride, anger, and bitterness, and did not in turn give his hand out. Things began to get loud once more because of this, and the police man to his shock of my dad doing this, told my dad, "Ok sir, that's enough!"After that, my dad went up to the boy who punched the other boy and his sister and kindly said, "I believe y'all should apologize to this boy for your behavior!" The Bible says, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God!" All of this was already shocking for me, but this ticked it off. They stared at my dad and said, "Why, it's not my issue nor fault!" I went up personally to the girl and said, "Look, this little boy is in pain for what your brother did, and is crying! Where is your heart, don't you feel sorry? Make things right!" Her reply was somewhat harsh and rude, "Why, it's not me, and what gives you any right to tell me what to do!" I had to give it up because the police got in between! All of this, over a children's soccer game!

Now, the most disturbing and upsetting thing about this was that young lady's temperament and her brother's anger. I was just in shock and could not believe how this girl was so violent with her words and so hateful. She began to get in between everything and cussed at the adults! I overheard her brother say to one of his teammates, "I did it because we were losing and I wanted to get back at them!" Foolish and immature! I am so saddened at how our society is becoming. How terrible how world is. Having a group of people fighting with each other and arguing with hate. How sad our Father in heaven must be. I am so proud of my dad, standing up and asking forgiveness in the name of our whole team. He was being the peacemaker and did not want anymore strive or bitterness. I feel sorry for the man who marries this girl, how disgusting the girls of our population are getting. Becoming so dogmatic, and fighting like cats! I pray for all of these lost souls. Having seen this and hearing all of the hurtful words, I know that Satan was right there in the midst of it all. Laughing and smiling because hateful language was being spilled all over. We need to be in control of our anger. This boy who punched the other boy is only 11 years old and has such a temperament. Just imagine when he is in his teens...what then? Possibly being one who causes a shooting? Our anger is raging and we are in control of it. We each have a button, something which irritates us, and when someone pushes that button we explode like a volcano and spill with anger! Our anger can hurt someone, and even worse, kill someone! All anger must be put away. Wrath is in the same classification as blasphemy and filthy language, and that was being displayed today. The only One Who has a right to be angry is God. Allowing anger to become wrath is putting ourselves in the place of God.
Irritability, impatience, raised voice, glaring eyes, hurtful words, explosive actions, closing off spirit, attitude of superiority, tension from anger, and increased heart rate are all visible evidences of anger. A spirit of anger is wrong anywhere, and no one, no not one has the right to display it. You may ask, "Can't anger be used to protect others when they are attacked?" No, because a spirit of anger will only make the situation more dangerous, because angry words stir up strife. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger!" (Proverbs 15:1).

Anger is a signal that something is wrong, deep down hurt is being displayed. A spirit of anger is the result of not properly dealing with the initial reaction of anger. Never in Scripture does God command us to have a spirit of anger. In fact, this is the reason why He warns us: "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath!" Allowing anger to turn into wrath is sin. We are giving our spirit to the devil when we allow anger to captivate us. Remember this, anger is not limited to one age group, culture, race, economic level, social status, educational background, or any other classification. It is a universal problem. Anger has been a problem since the beginning of history, and perhaps in your family line, nevertheless, break it! Every person must conquer their anger, because unresolved anger is a "giant". Be aware of your sins and be willing to change.

A Trial...A Prayer...No Bitterness!

This morning when I woke up, I was shocked to only a tad with what happened outside on our property!
You see, we live in a pretty, safe, nice, neighborhood-that's what I thought! Well, yesterday evening, we had to move our two vehicles to the side of our lawn because my brothers were going to paint a black coding on our driveway. Thus, the cars were parked somewhat safely, and definitely out of the way from the road. Around 1AM we received a phone call from the police department stating, "You have some property damage!" Nevertheless, we did not get this call until this morning when we found it on our answering machine. My dad looked all over the house and could not see anything broken, demolished, or damaged. However, the cars, they were parked on the side of the lawn, away from the road, but close enough for...yes, someone drove by in the middle of the night and smashed five windows! Three on our mini-van, and two on our conversion van! Shocked to this turmoil, we soon found out that whoever did this, went around the rest of the neighborhood and did some more mess. We came to the conclusion, that six other vehicles had smashed windows!

Around 11:00 this morning, our doorbell rang and a gentleman from the neighborhood came on over to tell us more of this mysterious story. He said that he heard the banging of his mailbox and rushed out of bed. He stepped outside furious and mentioned that he was ready to get ugly on whoever did this. To my awareness, I could see that this man is far more angry and bitter than my father. This man only has a damaged mailbox, whereas we have two damaged cars, unable of moving. Although, this morning my parents prayed for these people, whoever attempted to do evil that the Lord will convict them, and bring them to forgiveness. I as well prayed this and am not bitter, angry, or upset at all. Yes, it is money which we would of needed elsewhere, however, the main importance is that our house was protected. I praised and thanked God for this.

The funny thing is, a few days ago, my family and I listened to a sermon about praising God through every little or big storm. I personally inscribed that within and my heart and this morning, I said only something unkind and harsh about these people, and then a minute later realized what I said. I am now praying for these people, and only want them to come to God's presence. It is so important that we praise God in every situation and storm. He has a complete reason for this, perhaps we will find out today, tomorrow, or never. Nevertheless, I will not become bitter, or develop any sense of hatred because God had and has His hands over us! Learn to praise and thank Him for trials, as insane as it might sound, it is the best. A test draws us closer to Christ and it brings us to recognize that we are nothing without Him, it also builds godly character within us, if we praise and glorify God. Everything teaches us God's ways, and if we respond to it correctly, everything will bring peace. Realize that everything comes from God's hand. Take a moment and look at Job, a man who the most righteous of his day. God gave Satan permission to afflict Job within certain limits. Job lost everything, his friends were of no help, and his own wife told Job to condemn God. Nonetheless, what did he do...he praised the Almighty God! In the end, God blessed and rewarded his gratefulness and gave him more than what he had before!

Unless we see that everything comes from the good hand of God, we will never be able to develop a grateful spirit!

~Bill Gothard

Doubting My Salvation...Is This You?

Thanks y'all for leaving all those kind comments of wishing me a happy birthday!

Anyways, lately I have had a lot on my mind, and as I was talking with a friend the other day, I mentioned, something which caught my own self to stop and think...
We all slip n' slide, falling when a temptation arises, or perhaps we may have a stronghold of sexual desires, anger, hatred, bitterness, disobedience, rebellion, disrespect, so on and so on. Each one of us differs and nevertheless, we all have one similarity, sin. Sin is often deceiving, portrayed as sweet, Innocent, but the consequence thereafter is poison to our souls. Whatever it may be we will have to pay for the price later on, if not sooner. Now, I don't know about you, but when I sin, I will almost immediately realize it, the moment it happens, my mind goes, "Oh no, I did it again!" I feel rotten, but I know that deep down I can have that peace of just coming to my Savior and asking for forgiveness. Some of us do not know when we sin although, we go on and on, either with repeating the same sinful desire, or perhaps with doing a numerous of wrong doings, and thus these type of people are walking in the same route, not knowing what, where, or how to get out. I had a girl come up to me the other day stating, "Vanessa, I don't think I'm saved, I don't hunger for God's Word, and all I want is to be in His arms, I want to be one of His children, but how?" When we have a sort of doubt within us, we may feel insecure, not safe, confused, and a waster. What is our purpose then? I personally believe that we have no purpose if we are without God, we may think that our life is in complete order, perhaps having all the friends, being popular, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, money, and all those so called perfect necessities of the world. However, all of those things are worthless, they are just temporary, and after a while it begins to get boring again and we all long for something else. Something to cover that empty hole, covering it up, but not just temporary, permanently. What can do that?!

As I was younger, I would often doubt my salvation, I would question myself with the words, "Who am I? What is my purpose? Am I really saved? Is God really alive in my life?" Confusion, yes that is the bare picture of confusion. Satan was trying to deceive me with the thought of, "There is no happiness in this world, it's all dark, and you'll be just going through the rest of your life like this, there is only temporary joy and love." I was frightened, I saw my family deepen in God's love, and I tried to have that same joy of opening the bible each morning, but it was not there. I once stated, "I love God too much." I was thankful for the friend who at once corrected me with saying, "No Vanessa, you can never love God enough!" I was running in a dark pit not noticing it, but only realizing that my love for God was standing on a thin shield of glass. If a trial would come, that glass would shatter and I would go down...for a long time. If you are one of those that doubt your salvation, I ask of you to not wait one more second but fall down on your knees and completely humble yourself in front of God. We need to realize that we are dirty, selfish creatures, totally useless without God's help. Let me make this statement true to you, WE ARE ABSOLUTELY ALONE, NOTHING, HELPLESS, DEAD WITHOUT CHRIST! Please, take a moment and acknowledge this, do not just pass over this, if it speaks to you then all you need to do is cry to God. When I say cry, I mean to let all the burden out, and just give all the bitterness, selfish, hatred, whatever it is away.

I have heard that some people do not want to admit it that the first time they asked God in their life was senseless, it was just out of emotions, and didn't mean nothing. Don't let that be you. You need to get right before Christ, I had to do it more than two times. I dedicated my life back to Him after doubting my salvation many times. I love God so much, I love to read His Word, and the best time of my day is to pray to Him. Just knowing that I can tell Him anything, negative or positive. Many times I'll just be in His presence in tears, shame, however, He accepts me back in His arms, and once I know that I have sinned, I cannot go back there. I want to call it all over, throw those sins away, and ask God to move them away. Satan likes to make you feel as if your sin has ruined you and will stick with you forever. THAT IS BOGUS! The truth is that God picks up that sin and hurls it as far as the east is from the west. He promises us in Ezekiel 18:22, "none of the offenses he has committed will be remembered." Know God's truth, learn His Word, study it because then you can crush Satan's lie with it! Bottom line is, Satan is a BIG FAT LIAR! God wants you in His arms, sin is hurtful and painful. Release all of the lies instilled within yourself. Come to know Christ, He is available 24/7 and wants to hear from you.

You may feel ashamed to enter God's presence, but don't. Confess your sins, you need to do this, realize who is far greater, and that we are low and lost. Perhaps you may think because you have caused a deep and dirty sin God will not accept you because He is perfect. Another lie. Please know that He will take you in when you completely realize that you are a lost sinner, and need a Savior. Once you have done or know this, a change needs to occur. You cannot simply live you life the way you want and ask God to accept you as you are, because He wants you to notice the good from the bad and make the sharp turn. Sin creeps up on us, it may be anything from sexuality, materialism, anger, lust...what is keeping you far from God? Be dead to sin, and alive to Christ.

Scripture is very clear, if you haven't noticed that, then I beg you to deep further in and realize the boldness behind the words. It tells us that we must walk away from anything that hinders our love for God. We need to "throw" off our former way of life. I know, that is easier said than done, and I cannot make the process less painful for you, however, the Bible and God will give you a step-step by plan for walking through it! Do not give God a divided heart, half of the heart wants to continue sin, whereas the other half wants to do holiness. He need the whole heart. We cannot do anything with a half heart, He needs the whole thing to work properly, and He is wanting it all. Please give it to Him, and cry for a revelation, He gives it, if you are willing. Read the Bible, walk it, talk it, and live it. You want to know what will happen to you when you die, correct? Hell is dark, scary, lonely, loud noises, why place yourself there? The heavens declare GOD, we will be in a new earth of no more pain, tears, fears or death. Sounds like paradise? It is, but only through God it can be! Be born again!

Embracing Seventeen!

August 5th, 1992 at 12:27AM a new baby girl entered into this world. Little did she know what God had in store for her the moment she arrived. A stubborn girl she was, not willing to make herself out to this world, but was forced by doctors and then endless hours from her mother. This little baby was the first girl in the family, and was the second child, welcomed by her big brother and two very excited parents. First child to be born in America from the new family, and first one in the BIG lone star state. Hugs and kisses were thrown on this precious little baby and she grew, and grew, and grew. Life came around so suddenly that she woke up once on August 4th 2009 realizing that tomorrow she would be 17. This little girl is me!

Yes, today is my birthday...wow, another year for me has passed by. I'm startled to even say, "Seventeen!" That number seems so large, and also knowing that new situations will arise in the next few years. I remember just yesterday being 6 and stating, "Hm, I wonder how I'll be like when I'm 16?!" I have to admit that my 16th year was very interesting, meeting new people and developing long distance friendships. Experiencing many hardships and headaches. Things I had to go through that I rather would of pushed away. As my life approaches this new year of life, I feel blessed to be more and more in the ultimate presence of Christ Jesus, knowing that He is available to me at all times. I cried many times throughout this past year in the hands of God, pouring out my deep inner thoughts and humbling myself because of past pride issues or perhaps emotions. Seventeen will be a new adventure, taking new steps, new paths, new relationships, and new situations. I look forward to what God has in store for me, knowing that He is not finished with me yet. At times I wonder what this new year will bring, what will change, and what will remain the same, however, I have a peace and no burden because I can give it all to God and know without one doubt that He is in complete charge. I am blessed with family, parents and siblings. I have friends who care for me, those who will encourage me perhaps with emails, phone calls, or blog posts. I thank each one of you for reading my blog and for making a difference in my life. I pray for another wonderful year, and I am excited to see what is in store. Seventeen embraces so many new things, some major and other minor. I do realize that God is in control and I am thankful for that. Growing older also enhances me for other trials and temptations, however, only bracing me closer to Christ and my family. It will be a year of adventure, and also moments of just relying upon God because I'm nothing without Him. I'm learning that each and everyday is a treasure itself, supposedly to be spent with enjoyment and also knowledge in what you do. My character is being sharpened in each trial, circumstance or occurrence. I have come from this girl being hungry for God only about 40%, to now being a young lady thirsting and yearning for God more than 100%! Praise the Lord for what He is doing, I have some sense of timidness in welcoming this new age, nevertheless, I know that I will not be alone, in all struggles the greatest mentor is there by my side-Jesus Christ! Being under the submission and protection of my parents only keeps me away from dangers, things the eye should not view. Blessed for those who care for my soul, and thankful for moments of acknowledgements from Christ. Before we actually realize it, the year shoots by, and looking back I want to remember positive things, and of course a few negative incidences snuck in although, overall I view back seeing a faith coming from small to something much greater! Thanks be to God for giving me life, breath, not even noticing how special that gift is, a gift of living, and most of all in the house of God! I'm thankful for this year, and sharing new posts with y'all and how God moves-powerfully!

August Third...So Special!

August third, such a special day for me, so many wonderful and exciting situations have occurred throughout my lifetime, many changes as a matter of fact. Thus, the August third I will be sharing with y'all was the one last year, in 2008. That wonderful, fun fulfilled day cleansed me deep within! Prior to that day back in October of 2006, my life went for a drastic change!

I was saved as a young girl at the age of six. I was baptized shortly thereafter, nevertheless, my life never took changes. I was continuing the same route each day, and the older I got, the harder it was for me to stay deep in God's Word. In addition, as I approached the age of 12 and 13, my life was going often on a roller coaster. I would read the Bible, but not everyday, and my prayers were so shallow, I never grew on my own. Thus, my family and I moved to another state and we found this church. In that setting I heard about sin, and it was then that I really acknowledged how sinful I am. I never heard of sin spoken in such a way, so boldly done, convicting, and touching the heart directly. Therefore, in October of 2006, I fell down on my knees right in my bedroom at 5AM and cried before my Jesus. I poured my heart out to Him, and it was that morning that He brought me to Him. I was welcomed into His beloved arms! From that moment on, I was in love with Christ, I could not get enough of Him, and I yearned to be in His presence each and every morning. Summer of 2007 rolled around and far did I know what was in store. Persecution from all corners attacked me, I was struck my darts and arrows, and it often felt as if I were walking on sifted sand. I got hurt from many sides, and many of the so called friends I had. Mocking me for my belief, and little did I know that God was testing me. It was not until the winter of 2007 that I noticed and came across to the Bible verse in 2 Timothy 3:2, "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." Once again, I was fallen back and God clearly pointed out why circumstances of trials approached me. The incidences in that previous summer only deepened my walk with Christ, and even when I did not notice it, I was being a witness to my enemies. God also instilled His voice within me telling me that He wanted to make sure that I was serious this time. Never ever will I walk away from Him again!

In conclusion, August third 2008 is special to me because I was baptized again, I waited almost two years for that special day, and the moment I was under water and came back up, I felt cleansed, and renewed! I knew that the decision of me renewing my faith was that best thing I have ever decided. I cannot imagine my life without God, and I know that I'm far from perfect, each day I fail, and many times I will just say, "Why have I fallen again?" God has an answer for everything, it amazes me because each answer is exactly what I need to hear. When I fall He is right there to pick me up and when He does so, not only am I encouraged, but also slowly understanding His will for the situation. Day by day I am reminded of His goodness, His gentleness, His mercy, and His everything, that I often do not deserve His love, however, He wants me, and I cannot be without Him! My chains are gone, I've been set free!

Broken Before God

The other night as I was sitting in my bed just thinking, I looked upon my day and just thought. I was confused and my mind felt clouded to all the things occurring around me. So many thoughts found it's way through in just minutes. Thoughts of negativity, crept in as well, and then in the far corner, I saw the thought of, "Vanessa, what exactly are you doing here, what is your purpose?" I struggled with that thought, and battled against it because there are many circumstances within my life at the moment where I would just love to have God's exact answer right away. Nevertheless, I am learning to this very minute that I have to wait and just rely upon Him. If it was my will and my way, I would of already acted to what I'm struggling with. However, we often miss God's perfect plan for our lives, we rush it without stopping to hear what He has to say. I have come to the point this morning that I broke down, my heart is completely crushed, and I do not have any answer on my own, it is completely God's choice and answer for my life. It is whatever He wants, and not what I want. Not my will, but His will! If confusion creeps within your mind, it is not of God. Remember, God is NOT the author of confusion. I have given my everything, I owe nothing anymore, and my life is totally in His hands. I have acted many times out of my own will, and tried to do it all my own, but suddenly, this circumstance within my life came for a total reason because I cannot solve it alone. God is going to intervene and do it, when He wants, and not when I want it fixed. We cannot get in between His plan, we need to give him the full charge, and just wait and see what He will do. Trying to rush things just because we think it would fix it all can mess up God's perfect will for our life!

Of course, when we allow God to take control of the shift, a burden is lifted. When I came to the conclusion of this, He brought me to this song, and the first verse and chorus of it, is exactly relating to my life at the moment, and how God needs to come on in. I hope it will speak to y'all as well.

SAVIOR, PLEASE (Joshua Wilson)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please, keep saving me

*Y'all need to check out this song, beautiful and amazing! I know the young man who composed it, and now he himself is getting out into the Christian media world-such as the radio, it's awesome!!

Wisdom in ONLY Six Words!

DUSTY BIBLES LEAD TO DIRTY LIVES!