Saturday, December 26, 2009

My Journey, His Calling!

*Ahem*, I may start this post as *ahem* meaning the *ahem* comes from you because it has been so very long since I have had a meaningful post up! So, this is the ONLY moment where you as the reader can be a tiny bit upset and do the *ahem* thingy, reminding me that I should blog more often! Well, as I have said, this has been the longest break that I have ever taken from my blog, to be honest, it was probably the best decision I made. You see, during these weeks, yes I have posted random posts, although, a post where I really dig into something was probably dated back in September! God has been showing me, teaching me, reproving me, chiseling me, and growing me these past months. I have learned to completely surrender to God and die to myself. Meaning, I am nothing, and without the will and hand of God, I will never be something. It may sound as if I am very confusing, nevertheless, give me a chance to explain and then perhaps you will nod your head saying, "Aha, I understand!"
As we get older, it seems as if life gets only harder. There are times where I am often dazzled and confused with so many things. I was even questioning God about many areas within my life, certain circumstances, and other queer situations. As you know, I even had my doubts and thoughts of discontinuing my blog. To my surprise, I received loving comments from my followers and others who encouraged me. I appreciated each one of them and really didn't know how to thank them. There are two followers on my blog and they really encouraged me with their words, I was actually touched and in that moment I heard God. He was trying to get to me all this time, however, I was to preoccupied that I didn't take the chance to just wait and listen. In the moments when we just give up, that is when God can work. I have given up all of my wants, dreams, and desires, I also have stopped understanding the will of God and just follow. It is so hard because I want what I want, nonetheless, because I know that He works when we are broken, I am willing to do that. God has taught me to rely upon Him for all situations. I have had trouble in the past seeing that, and the consequence caught me to pay for the price. I'm pretty sure many of you are curious about your future. For me, that is one of the hardest things to give up, well I won't lie, the hardest! I want to know what is in store for me, but as of late, I have handed the pen over to God to be the Author of my life. Sometimes it is hard to pray because God feels so far away, nevertheless, there is hope in the horizon, and as I always say, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Whatever hardship I'm going through I may not see the end, but I know that God never gives me something unbearable to handle. I stand amazed in the presence of my Lord, because I know that what He desires of me is something that I cannot fully comprehend at this time, and Him just holding it back from me is not selfish, however, a lesson of pure patience. Boy, I'm a very impatient person, and this is why God is teaching me, showing me, correcting me, and humbling me, because I need an extra dose of patience.
Dreams, we all have those sensations, those desires. I have probably the most dreams anyone could have, and it is important to have plans, BUT God has showed me something more important over the months, "Vanessa, my call is going to be your journey!" Yeah, pretty harsh and hard, nevertheless, it is His desire and love that I give up my selfish wants and hop on His back and follow. My prayers were often crowded with wrong things, things which I wanted, and not what God wanted. It wasn't until one morning, that the Lord awoke me, and literally I heard Him say, "You're mine, you're going to have to listen to me now!" I opened up my prayer journal and to my surprise a few of the prayers which I had in there that were probably too focused on the things of my heart, were gone. Now, that may sound ridiculous to you, but if you know God, then you know exactly what I mean...they were GONE! I knew that it was no longer about me, no longer about Vanessa, the girl who wanted things in order, but about God.
I could go on and on because talking about this change within my heart is something so exciting. Yes, I still fail in many areas, and those areas need to be turned because my heart needs to be completely God's, and if I'm sinning in some part then I'm holding onto something else. So, all of this is a brief explanation of my absence, and of the teachings which God has done through me. The biggest lesson which I have learned is that whatever I want may not be of God, thus I am am a meek child before the great Creator; all what He desires of me is what He will get. I look forward, with much anticipation for His plans, because they will be far better than mine. I am not my own, and my journey on this earth is not mine either. Therefore, this quote has been such an encouragement as well as an eyeopener, "My journey is His calling!"

Monday, December 21, 2009

My Family...


Well, I promised to y'all that I'd post a picture of my family. This is our Christmas picture, of course, it looks better, more clear, when it is printed out, although, that is kinda impossible to do, because I don't even know half of y'all! :) Plus, in a few days, perhaps before Christmas, I will post a post up about the moments I had throughout the weeks I was gone. God taught me a lot, and the other day, a good friend of mine mentioned how I should briefly share what the Lord has been doing and teaching me. I would love to go in ever detail, nevertheless, it would be very long. Also, I appreciate each one of your comments on each post, and I know that there are many of you who view and do not comment, I still thank you! More next time!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Oh, That's How She Looks Like!


So, I bet many of you have wondered for some time how this private blogger looks like! Well, I haven't been on much lately, and never did post pictures, until the other day when the idea popped into my mind to do so! Thus, that picture on the side is...this blogger! Yep, that happens to be me right there. I'll be posting a picture next week of my entire family. I would do it sooner, but it is our Christmas picture and I will be sending it out to others who follow and view my blog and I want them to see it before it gets on my blog! For those waiting, just have patience, and know that the girl who writes all of these posts, no longer remains mysterious!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Shall I Do?

I have been away for a few weeks, actually more than a few, more like many. I have been in many thoughts and sensations these past weeks, dazzled with many emotions and feelings, and yet always had the thought of, what is the exact mission and purpose of my blog. I have even considered discontinuing my blog, however I have had a friend and my brother state otherwise. They both told me to continue this ministry and to pursue what God is telling me to do. I have developed a sense of confusion and to be honest with all of you, a complete blank mind on what to do. When I first began this blog, my initial intent was to encourage young girls with emotional, physical, and mental purity, and to be a strong and powerful light for Christ. As months went on, new bloggers approached my blog, new comments were seen, and the vision and purpose which I had gradually shifted to something else. That 'something else' is a thing that I do not even know. I have prayed to God for weeks, just wanting to know my plan and purpose here in life, as well as for my blog. I was very much into my blog months ago, and suddenly, my life has taken shifts, turns, and changes. Situations which I cannot control, and some which I have all the power to handle. What a comfort it is although to just run into the hands of God, crying out all of the tears and hurts, just knowing the there is an ultimate peace and love in the God of salvation. My friends, I highly appreciate your dedication to this blog, even though I have been gone. The comments which I have received are so encouraging, so uplifting, and so refreshing. My words can never thank you enough, some of you I do not even know, but I feel as if I have known you long because the blood of Jesus Christ brings us close together. Yet again, I have turned from the exact meaning of this post. I still do not know what my purpose is for this blog. I do not even know if I am touching lives with this site, perhaps it is something that I want, and God is telling me otherwise. Perhaps you can sense confusion between the words? I know that I do not have to carry the weight of who I am, because God has His all forgiving love on me. At times I feel alone, just wanting to be with God, because that is who I am. I know that I am a treasure in the arms of Christ, and if He wants me to continue my ministry on this blog, then so be it, nevertheless, if I feel a sense of the opposite, then I will choose to follow that call and leading. As I have said before, this is all a thought; God is my source, my hope, and through my struggles He will be there, not letting me go through it alone. Even when I feel like it at times. I call and He hears me, I feel empty, but I'm holding on, because He's with me. Even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, His love will cover me!

God Bless,
Vanessa

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Long Time...

Wow, I know it's been a very long time since I have posted anything on my blog, however, my life has gone through a few twists and turns here and there! So many new situations and circumstances have come up these past few weeks! Through all of this going on in my life, I have neglected a few things, however, as I come to the conclusion of it, I find that I have not neglected my blog and other things instead my priorities have shifted majorly. Thus, I will not be posting on my blog for awhile, due to some confusion within my life, something I cannot share with y'all, but must be kept personal, it's a time where God is growing and changing His child, reproving me and molding me to make me more like Him. I'm being tested in many areas spiritually, and mentally I am often dazed and fogged about many things. Thanks for your understanding!

Vanessa

Friday, September 18, 2009

Ah, this Question...

I have been thinking about a post these past few weeks, and as I was doing my daily duties a few days ago, this popped to my mind! I will give this question to anyone willing to answer and participate in a discussion perhaps. I have been having this question awake within my mind for some time already, and finally decided to ask what y'all think about it. I know that many people think differently on this topic, nevertheless, that is not the point, I'm just curious with what you think, and what is Biblical. Thus, for the actual question, "Once saved always saved?" What is your exact opinion and voice on this? I have an opinion, and know other Christians who think otherwise. Without further explanation, be free to voice your thoughts on this. It doesn't have to be directed to me, however, to everyone! I know many that are confused with this, because it is often heard differently when in the gather of believers, or in a congregation of a church.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

While You're Waiting...

Lately, since I have been away from the blogging world, I have come to thought of many new posts, many which I should share, and yet a few which I cannot possibly put in words. My mind often comes to a brake and all the thousands of thoughts vanish away for one second, oh how lovely that is, and then suddenly, on point 2 seconds, they return. I have come to a broad conclusion, that we all struggle with thoughts. Some of us more than others. It may be the thought of, "Oh, so much to do!" or perhaps something more common such as, "I wonder where, who, and when, my future spouse is?" I talked to a young lady the other day and she mentioned something like this, "Vanessa, I often find myself thinking of someone I don't even know...I many times think if there will even be a husband for me." The sad thing is, many of us who are single can think upon thoughts like this way too much, and shockingly, before we even realize it, it can become an idol in our thoughts, worrying who is he/she, when is he/she coming, do I already know who he/she is? I am speaking on my behalf, and this is very difficult. I often would like to know myself who he is, nevertheless, I have read an article a few weeks back which stated, "If we are so in love with God, the feeling of wanting to know our future spouse which being single will diminish more and more." Of course, more or likely, we all have desires to be married, those desires are normal because God did create this inner love within us for the opposite sex. This does vary between each of us, and I know from myself, and many others that they have the desire and wanting to get married some day. Although, while waiting for this person, and often dreaming of what the future will be like (girls, this is for you), we need to be very cautious of not taking too quick of a step. Many times we may catch ourselves in thinking of someone perhaps who have captured our eyes, one who may seem like he/she fits all of our qualities which we want in a spouse, someone who we may dream of living with? Yes, it is often exciting, these thoughts, these feelings, nevertheless, please be careful into what your mind tricks you with. Even if you have never had these thoughts or feelings, control your emotions and actions. I spoke with a young lady this past week, "Vanessa, if only I would know who my future husband is, I wouldn't be such a flirt!" Why, cause yourself to be flirty and risky just because you think your future spouse isn't looking. Nevertheless, there is one always looking, and I believe you can answer that yourself...that very one, is Christ Jesus, watching your every step, your every gaze, your every action, your every word, your everything!
I often stare into the air, gazing, or just wondering what the next five years bring, although, this can cause us to become depressed, or even more lonely. Just think, do you possibly believe at this very moment that you can mother children? Or, could you provide for your family? It is difficult to stay pure, many times I feel like riding on a roller coaster, each and every day is different. I had once a young man tell me, "Vanessa, aren't girl's emotions different day by day?" So very true. Our hearts just need to be guarded, and held tight, safe and secure. You do not want to jump into a relationship too quickly, and thus find yourself deeply in love, however, finding yourself later on in life in a mess because many times when two young people are in love, they do not see the mistakes, this is dangerous! You may be 18 and married, or 28 and still walking around single. Whatever age you are, you have your complete purpose in this world, following God and knowing that He has complete charge of your single years, your courtship days, your engagement moments, and your married life. Just keep in mind to not dream upon this man or woman. Sometimes we may think that we already know him/her, and at other times, it is as if not. I speak of that on my behalf, feeling those very words, and often wanting to believe them, nonetheless, I am at the same moment glad that I do not know who he is because, God has a purpose and a will in my life. He has that exact plan for you as well, because He wants your heart, and patience is being learned. Yes, it is important to have a goal for your life, to know what you want to do etc., just play it on the safe side, not going total overboard.
As I sit here today, at the age of 17, my thoughts are often crowding my mind, forming a cloud, and if I allow that cloud to captivate my mind, I do not feel free, nevertheless, burdened. I will not carry the role of courtship in my own hands, God needs to take my future, and I pray that you allow Him to do the same with you. Yes, I do many times imagine what life will be like, and I want my husband to cover me in the Word of God, and to protect me, to guide me and our future family, and so much more. In addition, we are all worry way too much, and our worry and anxiety will often cause us to become lonely and far more. Whoever, your future spouse is, I pray that we will be strong when temptation arises, if you are one of those who waste your single years jumping from guy/girl to guy/girl, boldly and yet the truth, you are causing yourself much hardship. Just because you are young and single, you may believe that flirting with the opposite sex is far normal, think twice. You can't even wait for that special person, you are looking for other relationships, something to satisfy you at this moment. The way you act now, it can possibly affect your future. It is very hard to stay pure, for some physically, and others mentally. Nevertheless, ground yourself in the Word of God, find encouraging words there, seek the counsel of your parents or perhaps your guardian/grandparents, and know that you can do all things through Christ because He gives you strength. Even if you have messed up, and you have realized that you have, you are such an encourager to the ones who are trying to do that which is right the first time. You are to use your single years as a blessing, doing wise doings, serving your family and others, and seeking God day and night. It is so worth the wait, I know that it is hard, however, I long for my future spouse, and I know that when I meet him (Lord willing), I can say that I waited, and he has done the same for me! Our thoughts can cause us to turn bitter, or quite the opposite, to stay joyful because knowing that patience creates a great price!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Faults of Teenagers...Be Different!

Well, if you haven't noticed how our world is turning more and more worldly, allow myself to share a story that proves it more so!

A few weeks ago my oldest brother, youngest sister, and I were out together. We happened to be sitting next to each other, and the place where we were at, people have always seen Marc and I together, without parents. Nevertheless, a complete stranger came up to us and poised the question, "Is that your daughter?!" I looked at her with total shock and confusion and asked for her to repeat herself again. Thus she did, and because I was so taken back I shot out the words, "NO!" I thought that strong and powerful word, "NO!" would of cut her off, nonetheless, she went on with what she thought...into so much detail. Again she stated, "Oh, I thought you were in a relationship with this guy right here and y'all had this girl as your daughter!" I looked at my brother and was dumbfounded and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, however, these are my siblings." To think that Marc and I married...excuse me!? Here is where I'm going with this, I look far younger than my actual age, most people think of me as either 14 or 15, and my brother perhaps as 17 or 18, and thus this is what they thought. Do you get my point? People these days are beginning to assume that just because you have perhaps your younger sibling(s) with you that they are your children.
It is true that teenagers are becoming parents, instead of waiting patiently for their bride or groom they are letting themselves lose into the parenting world, and not getting married perhaps but continuing to have more children. We have so many teenage pregnancies, and many of these teenagers are not wanting to hold their mistake and take charge, that they believe they can easily get rid of this living being with an abortion! I have heard of young girls being pregnant at 13 or 14, and not only having one but three or four. Are you wanting to save yourself, or are you willing to give it all up with no care, just because you want the desire but have the choice to get rid of the baby? We need to think wisely before we make any mistake, and the topic I am discussing at this moment is very important. Teenagers are wanting a girlfriend or boyfriend and often that relationship gets deeper and deeper and then one morning they are shocked to find out that they will be parents! Many teenagers are not ready to parent a child which is very understandable because of the way they are growing up these days, and this is when they decide to use the quick and fast way to keep their life the same-abortion. However, will it really be the same? No, because how can you deal and live with yourself after you have had an abortion. Knowing that this child is life, a human being! I once heard of a story concerning a young lady and she stated that she had to confess because when she was in college she fell for temptation and her sinful desires caused her to conceive a baby and thus she was in no mood to raise this child and aborted it. Later on in life she found Jesus, and married and had many children of her own and could not live with herself because of what she had done many years before hence. She constantly thinks of this life, the life she threw away carelessly all because she wanted to live her youth. She says, "I would have one more child, another one to care and love for, another one for God's kingdom, how was I so immature and foolish?" It is but all too late. There has been over 40 million abortions since 1973!
Think before your actions. The story above about myself and my siblings is concerning this because the generation these days have the mindset that just because I'm a teenager it means the I have a boyfriend and that just because my sister happened to be with me she definitely must be my daughter. Make a statement with your life, a purpose and a reason. Do not waste your youth with boyfriends/girlfriends and breaking up and then restarting all over again. Make that strong promise and commitment to save yourself for that special person. We are all falling and each of us have sinned, nevertheless, break your temptations, your strongholds. If you struggle with the fact of wanting a boyfriend or girlfriend, and wanting to get deeper with this person, just think, "Will you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her?" Do you want the responsibility of caring for a child at the moment, out of wedlock? Wouldn't you rather have children with the man or woman or your desire and God's plan, once you're married? Allow these questions to ponder within your heart and if God is wanting to work within your life, let Him, don't hold back any fear or pain! We are not ready to father or mother a child in a risky relationship, one out of high school or college, wait until your wedding ceremony and the wedding bed. Let's make a statement for the whole world to see that we are different, and will not participate in the sinful and evil doings of this world. It is hard to often stay emotionally and physically pure, however, the reward thereafter is beautiful and amazing! Do not give your heart or body away, girls this means to dress modestly, because it is giving a guy sexual desires. And when a guy is just for your body he does not love you, because he can't respect your decision for staying pure. Give your heart to the Lord Jesus, because He will satisfy you with His love, it is more than enough. Be careful where your feet trod and if you have a weak back with guys or girls, stay away from trouble! Never ever be alone with the opposite sex, it's not worth it, the consequence is far greater, and it hurts! Imagine having to tell your wife or husband later on in life, "I'm sorry, however, I had another relationship before I knew you, and a child came out of that, although, I chose to abort that baby!" You can save yourself from this hardship, and from the agony of losing a child you once didn't want...with the love of Jesus and the discipline, if you give Him your heart! We live in a world of pressure and confusion, however, you need to stand strong, and not stand on sifted sand!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Anger...Bitterness...Hatred...Yelling...Cussing...IT'S WRATH!

Well, my previous post was about action going on around my house, and yet this post will be the exact same! Something very different, totally out of the ordinary, and awful occurred this morning!

Alright, my youngest brother had a soccer game this morning and everything was going well, normal. They were losing by 2 points however, we were still cheering on. The ball went out on our side where my family was and one of the players from our team goes and gets it. He comes back and suddenly another boy from the other team just slightly kicks him in the lower part of the leg. The boy on our team got furious and with hatred and anger grabbed the player from the other team and gives him a punch in the eye! The sister from this boy who punched the other boy immediately jumped in the field, started cussing her mouth off and grabbed the other boy's t-shirt with hate and gave him the impression to get lost! With in less than a second, the other team's parents/family ran over and got into a Hugh fight with our team's parents/family. Through all of this, my head was shaking back and forth. My family and I were playing neutral and my dad, being the leader tried to calm everyone down. Things got quite out of hand, and yelling, cussing, and anger was all being spilled over this incident. My dad quietly walked away and called the police to come over and settle this matter because if left alone, it would of gotten worse. The girl who intervened within this fight was the main issue because she acted out of control and this is how everything arose. She is only 14 years of age and to hear a mouth like hers was disgusting! The police was there on the soccer field in less than 5 minutes and still, the police officer had to call back up. Once the other one got there everyone slowly began to calm down. Nevertheless, people were still yelling and accusing each other. One lady told my mom, "Oh, this is normal, it runs in the Hispanic blood line!" No excuse! Towards the end of this long and loud fight, the boy which got punched in the eye was crying all his tears out, due to shock and pain. The ambulance came on over and took a look at him and within seconds his eye was swelling. Everyone was fighting with everyone, and tried to get back at each other. My family and I once again, stood in shock! Nonetheless, my dad was one of the spokesmen because he saw most of the accident. Coming to the end of this disruption, my dad humbled himself in front of all these people and in the name of our whole team apologized, even though none of it was personally my family's fault. However, he asked for forgiveness to the family who's little boy got hurt, and even handed out his hand to shake hands and make things come to peace. Although, the father could not overcome his pride, anger, and bitterness, and did not in turn give his hand out. Things began to get loud once more because of this, and the police man to his shock of my dad doing this, told my dad, "Ok sir, that's enough!"After that, my dad went up to the boy who punched the other boy and his sister and kindly said, "I believe y'all should apologize to this boy for your behavior!" The Bible says, "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God!" All of this was already shocking for me, but this ticked it off. They stared at my dad and said, "Why, it's not my issue nor fault!" I went up personally to the girl and said, "Look, this little boy is in pain for what your brother did, and is crying! Where is your heart, don't you feel sorry? Make things right!" Her reply was somewhat harsh and rude, "Why, it's not me, and what gives you any right to tell me what to do!" I had to give it up because the police got in between! All of this, over a children's soccer game!

Now, the most disturbing and upsetting thing about this was that young lady's temperament and her brother's anger. I was just in shock and could not believe how this girl was so violent with her words and so hateful. She began to get in between everything and cussed at the adults! I overheard her brother say to one of his teammates, "I did it because we were losing and I wanted to get back at them!" Foolish and immature! I am so saddened at how our society is becoming. How terrible how world is. Having a group of people fighting with each other and arguing with hate. How sad our Father in heaven must be. I am so proud of my dad, standing up and asking forgiveness in the name of our whole team. He was being the peacemaker and did not want anymore strive or bitterness. I feel sorry for the man who marries this girl, how disgusting the girls of our population are getting. Becoming so dogmatic, and fighting like cats! I pray for all of these lost souls. Having seen this and hearing all of the hurtful words, I know that Satan was right there in the midst of it all. Laughing and smiling because hateful language was being spilled all over. We need to be in control of our anger. This boy who punched the other boy is only 11 years old and has such a temperament. Just imagine when he is in his teens...what then? Possibly being one who causes a shooting? Our anger is raging and we are in control of it. We each have a button, something which irritates us, and when someone pushes that button we explode like a volcano and spill with anger! Our anger can hurt someone, and even worse, kill someone! All anger must be put away. Wrath is in the same classification as blasphemy and filthy language, and that was being displayed today. The only One Who has a right to be angry is God. Allowing anger to become wrath is putting ourselves in the place of God.
Irritability, impatience, raised voice, glaring eyes, hurtful words, explosive actions, closing off spirit, attitude of superiority, tension from anger, and increased heart rate are all visible evidences of anger. A spirit of anger is wrong anywhere, and no one, no not one has the right to display it. You may ask, "Can't anger be used to protect others when they are attacked?" No, because a spirit of anger will only make the situation more dangerous, because angry words stir up strife. "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger!" (Proverbs 15:1).

Anger is a signal that something is wrong, deep down hurt is being displayed. A spirit of anger is the result of not properly dealing with the initial reaction of anger. Never in Scripture does God command us to have a spirit of anger. In fact, this is the reason why He warns us: "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath!" Allowing anger to turn into wrath is sin. We are giving our spirit to the devil when we allow anger to captivate us. Remember this, anger is not limited to one age group, culture, race, economic level, social status, educational background, or any other classification. It is a universal problem. Anger has been a problem since the beginning of history, and perhaps in your family line, nevertheless, break it! Every person must conquer their anger, because unresolved anger is a "giant". Be aware of your sins and be willing to change.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

A Trial...A Prayer...No Bitterness!

This morning when I woke up, I was shocked to only a tad with what happened outside on our property!
You see, we live in a pretty, safe, nice, neighborhood-that's what I thought! Well, yesterday evening, we had to move our two vehicles to the side of our lawn because my brothers were going to paint a black coding on our driveway. Thus, the cars were parked somewhat safely, and definitely out of the way from the road. Around 1AM we received a phone call from the police department stating, "You have some property damage!" Nevertheless, we did not get this call until this morning when we found it on our answering machine. My dad looked all over the house and could not see anything broken, demolished, or damaged. However, the cars, they were parked on the side of the lawn, away from the road, but close enough for...yes, someone drove by in the middle of the night and smashed five windows! Three on our mini-van, and two on our conversion van! Shocked to this turmoil, we soon found out that whoever did this, went around the rest of the neighborhood and did some more mess. We came to the conclusion, that six other vehicles had smashed windows!

Around 11:00 this morning, our doorbell rang and a gentleman from the neighborhood came on over to tell us more of this mysterious story. He said that he heard the banging of his mailbox and rushed out of bed. He stepped outside furious and mentioned that he was ready to get ugly on whoever did this. To my awareness, I could see that this man is far more angry and bitter than my father. This man only has a damaged mailbox, whereas we have two damaged cars, unable of moving. Although, this morning my parents prayed for these people, whoever attempted to do evil that the Lord will convict them, and bring them to forgiveness. I as well prayed this and am not bitter, angry, or upset at all. Yes, it is money which we would of needed elsewhere, however, the main importance is that our house was protected. I praised and thanked God for this.

The funny thing is, a few days ago, my family and I listened to a sermon about praising God through every little or big storm. I personally inscribed that within and my heart and this morning, I said only something unkind and harsh about these people, and then a minute later realized what I said. I am now praying for these people, and only want them to come to God's presence. It is so important that we praise God in every situation and storm. He has a complete reason for this, perhaps we will find out today, tomorrow, or never. Nevertheless, I will not become bitter, or develop any sense of hatred because God had and has His hands over us! Learn to praise and thank Him for trials, as insane as it might sound, it is the best. A test draws us closer to Christ and it brings us to recognize that we are nothing without Him, it also builds godly character within us, if we praise and glorify God. Everything teaches us God's ways, and if we respond to it correctly, everything will bring peace. Realize that everything comes from God's hand. Take a moment and look at Job, a man who the most righteous of his day. God gave Satan permission to afflict Job within certain limits. Job lost everything, his friends were of no help, and his own wife told Job to condemn God. Nonetheless, what did he do...he praised the Almighty God! In the end, God blessed and rewarded his gratefulness and gave him more than what he had before!

Unless we see that everything comes from the good hand of God, we will never be able to develop a grateful spirit!
~Bill Gothard

Friday, August 7, 2009

Doubting My Salvation...Is This You?

Thanks y'all for leaving all those kind comments of wishing me a happy birthday!

Anyways, lately I have had a lot on my mind, and as I was talking with a friend the other day, I mentioned, something which caught my own self to stop and think...
We all slip n' slide, falling when a temptation arises, or perhaps we may have a stronghold of sexual desires, anger, hatred, bitterness, disobedience, rebellion, disrespect, so on and so on. Each one of us differs and nevertheless, we all have one similarity, sin. Sin is often deceiving, portrayed as sweet, Innocent, but the consequence thereafter is poison to our souls. Whatever it may be we will have to pay for the price later on, if not sooner. Now, I don't know about you, but when I sin, I will almost immediately realize it, the moment it happens, my mind goes, "Oh no, I did it again!" I feel rotten, but I know that deep down I can have that peace of just coming to my Savior and asking for forgiveness. Some of us do not know when we sin although, we go on and on, either with repeating the same sinful desire, or perhaps with doing a numerous of wrong doings, and thus these type of people are walking in the same route, not knowing what, where, or how to get out. I had a girl come up to me the other day stating, "Vanessa, I don't think I'm saved, I don't hunger for God's Word, and all I want is to be in His arms, I want to be one of His children, but how?" When we have a sort of doubt within us, we may feel insecure, not safe, confused, and a waster. What is our purpose then? I personally believe that we have no purpose if we are without God, we may think that our life is in complete order, perhaps having all the friends, being popular, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, money, and all those so called perfect necessities of the world. However, all of those things are worthless, they are just temporary, and after a while it begins to get boring again and we all long for something else. Something to cover that empty hole, covering it up, but not just temporary, permanently. What can do that?!

As I was younger, I would often doubt my salvation, I would question myself with the words, "Who am I? What is my purpose? Am I really saved? Is God really alive in my life?" Confusion, yes that is the bare picture of confusion. Satan was trying to deceive me with the thought of, "There is no happiness in this world, it's all dark, and you'll be just going through the rest of your life like this, there is only temporary joy and love." I was frightened, I saw my family deepen in God's love, and I tried to have that same joy of opening the bible each morning, but it was not there. I once stated, "I love God too much." I was thankful for the friend who at once corrected me with saying, "No Vanessa, you can never love God enough!" I was running in a dark pit not noticing it, but only realizing that my love for God was standing on a thin shield of glass. If a trial would come, that glass would shatter and I would go down...for a long time. If you are one of those that doubt your salvation, I ask of you to not wait one more second but fall down on your knees and completely humble yourself in front of God. We need to realize that we are dirty, selfish creatures, totally useless without God's help. Let me make this statement true to you, WE ARE ABSOLUTELY ALONE, NOTHING, HELPLESS, DEAD WITHOUT CHRIST! Please, take a moment and acknowledge this, do not just pass over this, if it speaks to you then all you need to do is cry to God. When I say cry, I mean to let all the burden out, and just give all the bitterness, selfish, hatred, whatever it is away.

I have heard that some people do not want to admit it that the first time they asked God in their life was senseless, it was just out of emotions, and didn't mean nothing. Don't let that be you. You need to get right before Christ, I had to do it more than two times. I dedicated my life back to Him after doubting my salvation many times. I love God so much, I love to read His Word, and the best time of my day is to pray to Him. Just knowing that I can tell Him anything, negative or positive. Many times I'll just be in His presence in tears, shame, however, He accepts me back in His arms, and once I know that I have sinned, I cannot go back there. I want to call it all over, throw those sins away, and ask God to move them away. Satan likes to make you feel as if your sin has ruined you and will stick with you forever. THAT IS BOGUS! The truth is that God picks up that sin and hurls it as far as the east is from the west. He promises us in Ezekiel 18:22, "none of the offenses he has committed will be remembered." Know God's truth, learn His Word, study it because then you can crush Satan's lie with it! Bottom line is, Satan is a BIG FAT LIAR! God wants you in His arms, sin is hurtful and painful. Release all of the lies instilled within yourself. Come to know Christ, He is available 24/7 and wants to hear from you.

You may feel ashamed to enter God's presence, but don't. Confess your sins, you need to do this, realize who is far greater, and that we are low and lost. Perhaps you may think because you have caused a deep and dirty sin God will not accept you because He is perfect. Another lie. Please know that He will take you in when you completely realize that you are a lost sinner, and need a Savior. Once you have done or know this, a change needs to occur. You cannot simply live you life the way you want and ask God to accept you as you are, because He wants you to notice the good from the bad and make the sharp turn. Sin creeps up on us, it may be anything from sexuality, materialism, anger, lust...what is keeping you far from God? Be dead to sin, and alive to Christ.

Scripture is very clear, if you haven't noticed that, then I beg you to deep further in and realize the boldness behind the words. It tells us that we must walk away from anything that hinders our love for God. We need to "throw" off our former way of life. I know, that is easier said than done, and I cannot make the process less painful for you, however, the Bible and God will give you a step-step by plan for walking through it! Do not give God a divided heart, half of the heart wants to continue sin, whereas the other half wants to do holiness. He need the whole heart. We cannot do anything with a half heart, He needs the whole thing to work properly, and He is wanting it all. Please give it to Him, and cry for a revelation, He gives it, if you are willing. Read the Bible, walk it, talk it, and live it. You want to know what will happen to you when you die, correct? Hell is dark, scary, lonely, loud noises, why place yourself there? The heavens declare GOD, we will be in a new earth of no more pain, tears, fears or death. Sounds like paradise? It is, but only through God it can be! Be born again!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Embracing Seventeen!

August 5th, 1992 at 12:27AM a new baby girl entered into this world. Little did she know what God had in store for her the moment she arrived. A stubborn girl she was, not willing to make herself out to this world, but was forced by doctors and then endless hours from her mother. This little baby was the first girl in the family, and was the second child, welcomed by her big brother and two very excited parents. First child to be born in America from the new family, and first one in the BIG lone star state. Hugs and kisses were thrown on this precious little baby and she grew, and grew, and grew. Life came around so suddenly that she woke up once on August 4th 2009 realizing that tomorrow she would be 17. This little girl is me!

Yes, today is my birthday...wow, another year for me has passed by. I'm startled to even say, "Seventeen!" That number seems so large, and also knowing that new situations will arise in the next few years. I remember just yesterday being 6 and stating, "Hm, I wonder how I'll be like when I'm 16?!" I have to admit that my 16th year was very interesting, meeting new people and developing long distance friendships. Experiencing many hardships and headaches. Things I had to go through that I rather would of pushed away. As my life approaches this new year of life, I feel blessed to be more and more in the ultimate presence of Christ Jesus, knowing that He is available to me at all times. I cried many times throughout this past year in the hands of God, pouring out my deep inner thoughts and humbling myself because of past pride issues or perhaps emotions. Seventeen will be a new adventure, taking new steps, new paths, new relationships, and new situations. I look forward to what God has in store for me, knowing that He is not finished with me yet. At times I wonder what this new year will bring, what will change, and what will remain the same, however, I have a peace and no burden because I can give it all to God and know without one doubt that He is in complete charge. I am blessed with family, parents and siblings. I have friends who care for me, those who will encourage me perhaps with emails, phone calls, or blog posts. I thank each one of you for reading my blog and for making a difference in my life. I pray for another wonderful year, and I am excited to see what is in store. Seventeen embraces so many new things, some major and other minor. I do realize that God is in control and I am thankful for that. Growing older also enhances me for other trials and temptations, however, only bracing me closer to Christ and my family. It will be a year of adventure, and also moments of just relying upon God because I'm nothing without Him. I'm learning that each and everyday is a treasure itself, supposedly to be spent with enjoyment and also knowledge in what you do. My character is being sharpened in each trial, circumstance or occurrence. I have come from this girl being hungry for God only about 40%, to now being a young lady thirsting and yearning for God more than 100%! Praise the Lord for what He is doing, I have some sense of timidness in welcoming this new age, nevertheless, I know that I will not be alone, in all struggles the greatest mentor is there by my side-Jesus Christ! Being under the submission and protection of my parents only keeps me away from dangers, things the eye should not view. Blessed for those who care for my soul, and thankful for moments of acknowledgements from Christ. Before we actually realize it, the year shoots by, and looking back I want to remember positive things, and of course a few negative incidences snuck in although, overall I view back seeing a faith coming from small to something much greater! Thanks be to God for giving me life, breath, not even noticing how special that gift is, a gift of living, and most of all in the house of God! I'm thankful for this year, and sharing new posts with y'all and how God moves-powerfully!

Monday, August 3, 2009

August Third...So Special!

August third, such a special day for me, so many wonderful and exciting situations have occurred throughout my lifetime, many changes as a matter of fact. Thus, the August third I will be sharing with y'all was the one last year, in 2008. That wonderful, fun fulfilled day cleansed me deep within! Prior to that day back in October of 2006, my life went for a drastic change!

I was saved as a young girl at the age of six. I was baptized shortly thereafter, nevertheless, my life never took changes. I was continuing the same route each day, and the older I got, the harder it was for me to stay deep in God's Word. In addition, as I approached the age of 12 and 13, my life was going often on a roller coaster. I would read the Bible, but not everyday, and my prayers were so shallow, I never grew on my own. Thus, my family and I moved to another state and we found this church. In that setting I heard about sin, and it was then that I really acknowledged how sinful I am. I never heard of sin spoken in such a way, so boldly done, convicting, and touching the heart directly. Therefore, in October of 2006, I fell down on my knees right in my bedroom at 5AM and cried before my Jesus. I poured my heart out to Him, and it was that morning that He brought me to Him. I was welcomed into His beloved arms! From that moment on, I was in love with Christ, I could not get enough of Him, and I yearned to be in His presence each and every morning. Summer of 2007 rolled around and far did I know what was in store. Persecution from all corners attacked me, I was struck my darts and arrows, and it often felt as if I were walking on sifted sand. I got hurt from many sides, and many of the so called friends I had. Mocking me for my belief, and little did I know that God was testing me. It was not until the winter of 2007 that I noticed and came across to the Bible verse in 2 Timothy 3:2, "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." Once again, I was fallen back and God clearly pointed out why circumstances of trials approached me. The incidences in that previous summer only deepened my walk with Christ, and even when I did not notice it, I was being a witness to my enemies. God also instilled His voice within me telling me that He wanted to make sure that I was serious this time. Never ever will I walk away from Him again!

In conclusion, August third 2008 is special to me because I was baptized again, I waited almost two years for that special day, and the moment I was under water and came back up, I felt cleansed, and renewed! I knew that the decision of me renewing my faith was that best thing I have ever decided. I cannot imagine my life without God, and I know that I'm far from perfect, each day I fail, and many times I will just say, "Why have I fallen again?" God has an answer for everything, it amazes me because each answer is exactly what I need to hear. When I fall He is right there to pick me up and when He does so, not only am I encouraged, but also slowly understanding His will for the situation. Day by day I am reminded of His goodness, His gentleness, His mercy, and His everything, that I often do not deserve His love, however, He wants me, and I cannot be without Him! My chains are gone, I've been set free!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Broken Before God

The other night as I was sitting in my bed just thinking, I looked upon my day and just thought. I was confused and my mind felt clouded to all the things occurring around me. So many thoughts found it's way through in just minutes. Thoughts of negativity, crept in as well, and then in the far corner, I saw the thought of, "Vanessa, what exactly are you doing here, what is your purpose?" I struggled with that thought, and battled against it because there are many circumstances within my life at the moment where I would just love to have God's exact answer right away. Nevertheless, I am learning to this very minute that I have to wait and just rely upon Him. If it was my will and my way, I would of already acted to what I'm struggling with. However, we often miss God's perfect plan for our lives, we rush it without stopping to hear what He has to say. I have come to the point this morning that I broke down, my heart is completely crushed, and I do not have any answer on my own, it is completely God's choice and answer for my life. It is whatever He wants, and not what I want. Not my will, but His will! If confusion creeps within your mind, it is not of God. Remember, God is NOT the author of confusion. I have given my everything, I owe nothing anymore, and my life is totally in His hands. I have acted many times out of my own will, and tried to do it all my own, but suddenly, this circumstance within my life came for a total reason because I cannot solve it alone. God is going to intervene and do it, when He wants, and not when I want it fixed. We cannot get in between His plan, we need to give him the full charge, and just wait and see what He will do. Trying to rush things just because we think it would fix it all can mess up God's perfect will for our life!

Of course, when we allow God to take control of the shift, a burden is lifted. When I came to the conclusion of this, He brought me to this song, and the first verse and chorus of it, is exactly relating to my life at the moment, and how God needs to come on in. I hope it will speak to y'all as well.

SAVIOR, PLEASE (Joshua Wilson)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please, keep saving me

*Y'all need to check out this song, beautiful and amazing! I know the young man who composed it, and now he himself is getting out into the Christian media world-such as the radio, it's awesome!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Wisdom in ONLY Six Words!

DUSTY BIBLES LEAD TO DIRTY LIVES!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

To Kiss Or Not To Kiss?

What about the first kiss? When should it be done, and why wait for the wedding ceremony? Some people say, "Oh, why wait for that special person...one kiss won't hurt ya?" Whereas, others may have a complete different opinion, "Honor and respect each other, and save your purity, as well as the first kiss for your life mate someday!" That second statement is what I believe. I believe that the Bible teaches that all sexual activity outside of marriage is sin, and all romantically oriented physical activity is sexual activity. In my view, this includes premarital kissing. Now, I'm going to take this whole 'kissing' issue and break it down.

First of all, when I'm talking of a kiss, I mean the relation of a girl and guy emotionally and physically giving each other a kiss on the lips. A virgin is a girl who has not had any physical relationship with any young men. We as girls need to remain virgins until the day of marriage. The moment a young man and lady kiss each other before they agree to marry, is in my eyes impure and they have now broken God's promise of remaining pure and holy. Leviticus 21:13 says something which speaks the bold and bare truth, "And he shall take a wife in her virginity." It does not state that he shall take a wife who is immoral and impure. When God tells us something, He sure known what He is talking about. Guys, there may be young women who are beautiful and may act kind towards you, nevertheless, if she has been kissed already and has wrapped herself around others, what gives you the desire to know her more? A kiss is something delicate and should only be done at your wedding, and from that moment on with the man or woman you married. In the world we live in, many girls are wasting and giving up their purity at the young and tender age of 13. Many times a girl or guy will give that first kiss to someone they have perhaps been dating, and even though they know that this is not the type of person they want to live and share life with forever they still kiss, and thus the pure young virgin is now a harlot, giving her body away! Kissing will only make you want to do more than just a kiss. And why put someone you claim to care about at a spiritual risk?

Now, a little girl's dream is to get married to a prince and wear a beautiful long and white dress. Time flies and that dream still remains, however, if this little girl grew up to dress defrauding and be a flirt, and lets say that her very first kiss was with the neighbor boy, then her dream of wearing a beautiful white dress should in my opinion be changed to a black dress. This may sound harsh, however, she has messed up, and yes God will forgive if she asks, but if she continues on with this way of lifestyle, she needs a black dress! We make our own choices, and some of those decisions will give yourself away. Black and white will turn to gray, and we will eventually crumble, it's a slow fade and Satan is trying to device you in thinking that purity now a days is old school. No, it is hard to keep that heart pure and our purpose is to wait for God to work and not for us to go out on our own and look for Mr. Right, or Ms. Right. Don't you want your wife or husband to have the thought of, "Wow, my spouse waited for me, and I don't have to worry that she/he was someone elses before."

The first kiss is something done at the altar and just think of how good and romantic that will feel. You waited and respected others for their will of purity. I even believe that the kiss should have no place in the courtship or engagement. Listen to a story I once heard; a young man and woman found each other and courted for awhile until the young man knew in his heart that it was the princess he wanted and thus asked his future bride to marry him. Nonetheless, they both decided to not have any form of physical contact and especially NO kissing! As a result to this, the two remained pure by God's strength and shockingly, they discovered that they were not meant for each other. However, this young man is thankful to this very day that he kept his purity and that he didn't give his special kiss to the girl he thought was his. This story helps me to continue head strong with my purity.

Alright, to sum things all up I will leave y'all with a few more words. God says in Hebrews that the marriage bed is honorable and it should be kept until the first kiss was done at the wedding ceremony. Our number one temptation every single day is that we lean into our own understanding. We define everything with how it fits our own needs. This works just with the fact of kissing. We need to leave this up to God when the first kiss comes, and even if we don't understand why, just believe God and trust in Him because His timing is far better than yours. The first kiss is something special, and I bet it feels good because deep down you will know and you can tell your spouse that, "My very first kiss!" You also want a wife or husband that has kept their kiss and overall purity for you. You deserve their reward, and they deserve yours. Save your kiss, save it, save it, save it! This is the part of a couple, joined together, and taking each other and showing love by kissing each other. Lock it up in a box, and when the time comes, take it out, and thank God as well as your future spouse for keeping me pure. Ok, last thing that I want to share with y'all is one more short story of a young lady and man.

A young lady and man went through the courtship and it came to the point of engagement and they committed to be pure always until the wedding ceremony with each other. After many months of waiting and the long hours of patience, the special day arrived. The young lady put her beautiful white dress on, and walked down the aisle with her father seeing her soon to be husband waiting for that perfect and special gift. In conclusion, the moment the pastor said, "You may kiss the bride!", she whispered in the groom's ear saying, "Thank you for keeping me pure and respecting our decision!" Amen and hallelujah, save that kiss!

Waiting to express your love physically lays a strong foundation of trust for your marriage!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Back Home...

Hello y'all! Well, I'm back home!

Yes, my family and I returned back home yesterday night very, very, late. It feels good to be in your own house again, nevertheless, I miss SO many people! Texas was literally the highlight of my summer, I consider it also my birthday gift. It was so wonderful and being able to go back to my hometown and seeing people that care and love us. It was lovely to see God dwell within that land. Churches among every street, billboards of scripture verses or statements of Christ, and it was amazing to run into people and hear them say, "Y'all take care and God bless!" I don't hear that very often where I live. I'm so thankful and feel so blessed that I was able of seeing good old friends, and some new friends. It is of course sad to leave those who care for you, and where you know you have a place in their heart, however, God has placed my family and I over here for a complete reason, and oftentimes I do not see the perfect reason and plan. Although, I will not lean upon my own understanding, but look towards God for direction and timing. Nonetheless, we praise GOD for bringing my family and I back home, it was such a long trip, back and forth 3800 miles, and yet God was close to our car, guiding it day by day. I also look forward to see what God can do in the near future with my family and where He will lead us.

As I now look back upon those 2 weeks, memories of laughter, happiness, talking, and joy remain, and far back in my mind the thought of sadness has crept itself in. I see faces before me, the ones who have been there for my family when times were hard or when moments of rejoicing. God moved my family, He did it before and He can do it again, we just allow Him to work! A prayer for my family would be, let God work, and not us! Be blessed y'all and one thing that I look forward is that I can be back on the blogging world. God bless!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Flirty Girls! Flirty Guys!

I will mention one of the discussions I had with my friend last night, thus, that will be something concerning the topic and broad aspect of purity.

Yesterday night my friend and I had a conversation addressing the fact of guys and girls and the way they interact with each other. I also had the talk of how many of us have the inside desire to get married, and if God wills it then it will occur. It also does sadden me at how many girls/guys will be careless about their actions. Now, I know, that I have had talked about this many, many times and really do not need to constantly shove it down y'all's throat, however, it is something that I could talk about ALL the time. Basing it upon God's laws, and I really love to get in either a debate about this or a discussion with others and learn their perspective on things such as this. It's a bothersome to me when girls and guys are flirting with each other, and how many of them treat each other with disrespect, and to be honest and true with y'all, many don't realize that they are being disrespectful! To be blunt and bold, a guy and girl who are acting immoral, and with impurity, that is no sign of respect, if they would hold the plate of respect, then they would not be flirting and playing around with each other because they are concerned and want to hold their purity for the right one.

I have had situations in the past that I will unintentionally act or talk with a guy, and nevertheless, they will begin to have the thought and the impression that Vanessa is flirting around with them. Not too long ago I actually did something quite out of the ordinary. I personally went up to a young man and asked him if I was treating him alright, and if my joking and kidding around was fine with him. Now girls, we may do this with our 'girlfriends' and they will take it fine, nevertheless, a guy has a different mind. He might be thinking thoughts of how this girl likes him, and is just acting to get his attention. Thus, I felt and had the inner voice within me from God saying, "Go up to this young man and ask him if what I'm doing is fine." I sure did that, and it was hard because I had to get over my comfort zone and take the step of addressing him bluntly and saying, "Is it ok that I'm kidding around with you? Because I do know that some guys take this in the wrong side of the throat."

Now, I will give y'all three reason why flirting is wrong.

1. Ok, flirting may feel good and fun, with lots of excitement and it leads to destruction without notice, and thus that is wrong.

2. Flirting allows us to often take a relationship and perhaps grow into it, and then realizing it was never meant to be.

3. Flirting creates thoughts within us that cause sinful emotions, wrongful actions, and not noticing that you are actually using your mind and actions without caution and creating a pocketful of hurtful feelings.

In addition, flirting is the onset of impurity, and causing the opposite gender to fall. Everyone tends to flirt in a different way. Altogether, it's biblical wrong, and to play around with the other gender in an impure way, is causing him/her to have the wrong thoughts and emotions. I try hard to stay away from things that will make me fall, and something like this is where I still stumble upon often. God works in us, and we need to be willing to give our heart to Him, and let Him use it for His purpose. Flirtatious actions are fitfully wrong and are not to be done in our single years, being married is a different story, but while being a single person in the Lord Jesus Christ, we need to glorify and give Him our attention only!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Update On My Trip!

Hey y'all! I'm not home yet, but using the internet at my uncle's house!!

Well, Texas has been great. I'll give y'all just a slight update. I was going to post up something, nevertheless, I'm pretty sure y'all are interested in hearing all about my trip! :) Visiting new people and seeing new faces has been a blast. Saying bye to some very good "new" friends was quite hard for me, and yet the Lord has to move us on. I have enjoyed myself very much, and really loved the discussions I've had with a few of the youngsters I met. I also gained some ideas for a blog post, however, those will have to wait until my return home. It was very neat to meet the people that have visited my blog for some time, and also hear them talk about my posts, even though some of them talked of the posts in a fun way! :) Throughout this time, I have seen things which have sparked my interest and I look forward to sharing it all with y'all. Since I'm in the hot climate, I have also seen some people dress not the very best, and also joke around with, "They need to read my blog!" Anyways, this trip has been overall great, and an enjoyment. Spending time with my family, away from the usual things, and having fellowship with great friends! Alright, y'all stay well and till another post...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Leaving-again

What a wonderful discussion we had in the previous post! It was wonderful to see comments from everyone, guys and girls! It would be great to have comments and discussions like that every time, one of y'all just got to bring a question up! :)

Anyways, this post will be about me leaving-yes again! I'm going on a vacation with my whole family this time, and will once again be gone for 2 weeks. Nevertheless, this trip will not be to another country, instead another state, a state I long to live again, the state where I grew up in, where I was born in, the lone star state-TEXAS! I'm going to see some very good friends, as well as meet new friends, people I have been conversing with for sometime already. I'm so excited to meet the people who have also been visiting my blog, and even those who left comments on my blog today. It's going to be a wonderful visit, a time for fellowship, and perhaps even a time of discussions such as the one I had over my blog today! As of now, I will leave y'all with this, and will post all about my wonderful trip on my return home. I will be leaving this evening, and all I ask is for y'all to pray for the safety of my family and the vehicle! May God bless y'all and I'll be back if the Lord wills so (meaning I want to move!:).

Monday, June 29, 2009

What Are You Doing With Your Body?

The other day while I was in Chicago with my family, I noticed how insane our nation of teenagers and young adults are! It happened to be a very hot day, and I did know and was already prepared to a certain extent of how some of the girls were going to dress. Nevertheless, to make me even more shocked, there were guys where I just thought, "How can you be so bold?" Thus, the topic of this post will be all about, "What are you doing with your body?"

I may actually end up being a few times quite bold and blunt, however, it will be the plain truth. I have prayed about this certain issue a few times, and asked God how I could post it up on my blog, with what type of words, and how to bring my message I have in my mind across. Thus, this morning, as I was praying, God pointed out to me that I should just get on my blog, and begin writing, and the words will just pour out!
Almost everyday I come across people that dress to impress or those who will put clothes on with the attitude of "This will get so and so, or maybe I will have many guys look at me!" I don't have to go very far, just in my neighborhood I see young girls dressing impure, and the way they walk is very disturbing. Ok, this whole post will not be on us girls, I will squeeze in guys as well. I have three brothers, and also know other guys. I have heard a Christian guy's perspective on this many times as well, "Why make it harder for us?" When I hear this, my heart just screams, and I want to go to every girl and tell them how much it's killing the guys! They are the ones suffering from this impurity, and from the actions and dress of a girl. I have been to churches in the past, thinking that this is a time of fellowship and moments to encourage your friends in God's way. Nonetheless, to my shock I was seeing girls and guys flirting with each other. Seeing that they were at church just for the opposite gender. Why take your body out and give it away? For what purpose? When we dress with little on us we are giving away ourselves to whoever. The moment we see a pretty girl walk across the room, or a stunning guy, some of us may experience sweaty palms, beating hearts, or impure thoughts. This is the one that struck me, having thoughts of this person which is so hurtful and not pleasing to God at all!
We have control of what we think, our thoughts are like a taxi, we can tell the driver where we want to go, and that is just like our thoughts. We can say and determine enough thinking of that, but do we choose to? Teenagers of this day and age are blinded, they don't see the danger and don't see the harm they are doing to others. Girls will wear their skimpy tops, and guys will perhaps go topless, and why do they do this, just to get the attention of others. A normal guy's reaction when he sees a girl who knocks him of his feet will think sinful thoughts, and will have a difficult time of blocking those. Now, when a girl sees a guy who is shockingly good looking she will often think of wrong thoughts, but it is a little bit easier to block off those thoughts. I sometimes think, why can't they just put more clothes on? It bothers me because it is going against God's standards and just imagine how much He is hurting?
Honestly, you are giving your body away when you just hang it all out. You are purposely taking either a girl's or guy's thoughts, and capturing him/her with your ways and dress. It may be hot outside, and yet why dress with the least possible? Your body is for yourself at the moment while being single and then someday when you marry, that is for your husband or wife alone. Not for 100 guys looking straight at you with their mouth hanging open!
When a guy looks at a girl, and if he allows his thoughts to go farther, then he has committed adultery with her in his heart! Although, who caused him to stare with lustful eyes? A half naked girl did, one who didn't care about anyone, but herself and just wanting all the attention on her. Of course, we all have feelings, and emotions and even a guy or girl modestly dressed will often cause us to fall off our feet. It happens, but the majority of teenagers in this country are foolishly dressed with little care!
Why do you want your body to be looked at? Don't you just want one husband or one wife? We are causing someone elses spouse to fall down and are making a big mistake here. If we happen to think of so and so, evaluate and think, you are actually thinking of someone elses spouse! That right there really hit me and made me think. Please don't put clothes on just to catch an eye or two. Dress to glorify your Father in heaven. Even you guys out there can dress quite disturbing, and going around shirtless in the park, is not honoring your Father in heaven! He gave us our bodies to treat with dignity, and also for one special person someday. Low cut shirts girls are a big stronghold to guys, and those tiny, tiny shorts will damage his thoughts. And guys, your thoughts can be controlled, and I have no clue how hard it must be, although, when you do see a pretty girl please call unto God to take away all impurity and sinful thoughts! Girls, don't have the thoughts of, "Oh, I want to dress the way I want! He can control his eyes from looking at me!" This is wrong, why hurt your brother in Christ, why cause him to fall into a deep sin? We know that he has a problem with this, and please don't irritate it.
The next time you dress for an occasion, ask your Father in heaven, is this appropriate? Will this make my brother or sister in Christ stumble? Or are my actions immodest? How can I be an encouragement to them, and just show that I do care how I treat my body, because I want to keep it for the marriage bed! "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4
Save your body, and that kiss for that special person someday. God will honor your self-control as well as your purity. There is nothing better than talking with brothers and sisters in Christ who act blameless and with a pure heart!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Reasons For Not Hugging a Girl/Guy

My previous post was giving my general opinion and point about why I believe hugging girls/guys is wrong and inappropriate. Now, I will point a few facts of exactly why it is all wrong.

1. Hugging the opposite gender is first and foremost inappropriate because it brings the message across as, impure and it is far from being blameless.

2. Girls, when we put guys in that moment, we are causing them to stumble mentally and physically, and it will put them into an awkward situation.

3. Guys, now, I'm not a guy, although since I am a girl, I know what it does to me when you hug a girl from the front. I often will get the impression, "He likes me!" It also works with our mind and it will at moments distract me from what I should be thinking.

4. Giving a hug to the other gender can often implant sinful thoughts, and what if we are hugging a guy/girl who is trying to stay physically and mentally pure, we have just caused them to fall down.

5. Girls and guys, when we are hugging a guy/girl from the front, and when he/she is putting his/her arms around you, just think of all the impurity and immorality taken place at perhaps those 2 seconds.

6. A side hug can be fine, and yet, just a little bit here and there can lead into a total disaster. Why place yourself into a iffy situation and feeling?

7. Hugging a guy/girl is also showing the wrong impression. Perhaps we don't plan at all to come across as sensual or impure, nevertheless, people cannot read our mind and thoughts, thus, even if we don't mean it to be wrong, it can come across as that.

8. When approaching a guy/girl, instead of taking the arm out, stretch out your right hand for a shake, if that would make you feel better, and still not trying to come across as rude. Our bodies are not meant to be touched by every person.

9. Now, this is for girls...when you are hugging a guy, what is he feeling? Yes, this is bold and yet the bare truth, his mind is racing at different emotions, when for us it might not even bother us. We are sending feelings, and 'messages' to him, and are causing some one's future husband to fall!

10. Thus, I'm not saying that hugging is a total sin, it is NOT! Just be careful with how you are giving, or how you are posing your body. Come to a point that you will discern and do all things with purity, and being blameless. Do not come up to a guy/girl with the thought or idea to intentionally cause him/her to fall. A guy's emotions and feelings in an area like this, are ten times stronger than a girls. He struggles with this, and we as girls need to be alert and not purposely trip him.

"Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman." 1 Corinthians 7:1
This verse is for those unmarried, and it also qualifies for you girls as well!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Yearn for a Heart of Gold!

Girls, how many of you like it when you see other girls hugging every single guy they come across? And guys, how does that make you feel when you see girls hugging a guy with a full body contact? For me to see that, I get the thought and impression that a girl is just out there selling herself away because she wants all the attention, and she will get it from anyone. I have seen girls, and known girls who are always doing this. Now, when I see a guy do this as well, I get another thought and think secondly about him. What if his 'future' wife was standing in a corner, or walked by him? This goes for girls as well. Does the thought ever come across that perhaps your 'future' husband is maybe walking right by you? Messing up as being young does happen, but please, prevent it from getting there when you know the right from the wrong. It could easily be that you have messed up, or are messing up as being young and a change in your life will come from God and you turn around. However, as being young, you may be known as the girl or guy who gave their body away out of foolishness and temptation!

I'm a girl who is striving for purity, and many times I am ashamed of my own actions, that I often hope my future husband is not seeing me. Nevertheless, I do not know this, and we should at all times act if our future spouse is right there, and that God is ALWAYS looking. I don't want to see my future husband falling into a filthy temptation, or having other girls falling all over him. The thought and scene of that makes my heart fall, and my stomach turn. In my perspective, guys just need to be guys. Strong, hard working, pure, blameless, and staying away from the all hugging gushy things, until the day of marriage. And girls, please, do not cause a guy to stumble whether it be in your actions, dress, or speech! We are all workers of iniquity, however, the Lord wants our hearts, as well as our parents. Do not give your heart to a guy or girl out of curiosity or foolishness, keep it strong and safe.

The thoughts within our mind determine what is taking place in our heart, and will eventually spread out to our actions. That's pretty powerful! Sinful thoughts, and sinful actions occur when we are playing foolishly with the other gender. Talking and acting in a pure conversation with the opposite gender is God's way of fellowship .Why mess around? Why lose your heart and purity? We need to act blamelessly, and when coming in interaction with a guy or girl, treat him or her with respect. Do not flirt or use flattery within your words, but treat them as brothers and sisters in Christ, which will honor our Lord Jesus Christ! A girl's emotions are full of drama, and many times if her parents or God does not have her heart, she will pour it out to a guy she considers as her best friend, I've seen this occur many times. That is danger! Our deepest thoughts belong with God, mom and dad. I personally believe that having a guy or girl as a best friend is not the greatest idea. Naturally, guys and girls are different, and best friends in my perspective should be of the same gender. In addition, having a few godly young men or ladies around for fellowship within a group is beautiful and talking with pure conversations. Titus 2:12 says, "Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world."

As my conclusion, yearn for perfection and strive for purity. Take no false ways, and do not give your way to those of sinful acts. Our actions will someday be judged, and if we live our lives while being in our youth foolishly, then our acts will pass on to our generation. I most certainly do not want my children to go around and try every guy or girl out. This thought encourages me to be pure and wait for my beloved, and my prince charming!

"I am my beloved's and my beloved in mine!" Song of Solomon 6:3

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Tears, Hurt, Sadness, Pain!

Last night, I noticed and came to the conclusion that I do not like crying! Y'all might be like, what?! There are many, many different types of tears as well. Tears of joy, pain, shame, fear, anxiety, love, death, birth, healing, and so much more titles. I had to let go of one of my best friends, because she moved. I was hurt, sad, and had a stitch of pain within my heart, questioning myself and actually God as well, "Why?" No, it was not the last thing in the world, however, I have been living here in this state for almost 3 years, and this friend was sent from God. It was hard to break it apart. Tears hurt, they hurt the inside of the heart, as well as they kick up the past emotions and thoughts. I have told myself many times before, do not cry, hold it all in. It was not until recently that I heard something which brought me to think otherwise. Holding it all inside will not bring you anywhere, it just causes more bitterness, anger, wounds, or hurt. The best remedy is to let it all out, allowing the tears to flow straight from the eyes rolling down the cheeks. Crying is a natural human motion and act, it washes the eyes, and clears away all hurt, letting it all out. Whenever I feel like crying, I'll go to God and just cry in his arms, telling him to catch my tears, and to heal my wounds and hurt.
I often think how unfair a situation is, although, God is a fair and just God. He has everything planned and searched out for a reason, and many times I think, this trial is never ending God! Nevertheless He gives me a hope and a promise, a place with no more suffering, with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears! Isn't this just so beautiful?! Knowing that I won't have to cry because of hurtful incidences, death, fear, sadness, and pain. The place God has for me is in His house, heaven. A place where my heart yearns to be, that is after I have a family! :) Tears are good for washing away the misery, however, God also gives us tears to wipe away the suffering. All of us may think how it is a little embarrassing to cry, and I know for guys it may be more than girls with that kind of feeling, but just remember, God gave us tears, emotions, and feelings all for a purpose, and letting them out every now and then is totally normal. It cleanses the heart, and washes away the dirt and hurt within!

Friday, June 12, 2009

My 11th Yr. of School is All Over!

Wow...you might be wondering why I'm saying wow, but once I explain my "WOW" you might be saying "WOW" too (or maybe not?!).

I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL! Today was my last day as a Junior in high school, I turned in all my tests, reports, and final exam, and finished it all with a great score! I have only one year left, and then my graduation of class 2010!

I'm so thrilled to finally have this school year behind me, it was the hardest and longest one ever, with all the homework, and not to forget, chemistry! God and I pulled it all the way through, we did it together and I also give credit to my mom and my oldest brother Marc who helped me with my chemical equations and algebraic equations! It was a tough nine months, and I know that the next 10 weeks of this summer will go by fast too before I start up again...senior year! Yikes! However, God pulled me through this one, and He won't let me down on the next one either! Praise God for this great report of completion and I also want to give congrats to all of you who graduated from this great task in this year of class 2009! Praise GOD for wise minds, and instilling within us a task of determination and diligence!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Pictures of Germany

Alright, I finally got some pictures up from my brother Marc and my trip to Germany. Marc mostly made pictures of the scenery, and I would rather have pictures of the people. It just shows that I'm more of a people person to begin with! :)
A village like the one above is very small and the streets are often over crowded with people and cars. When driving through there, it was often a speed of no more than 5 mph.
Take a look at the lush from those trees. I always thought that where I live in America was very green, boy was I wrong!
Literally, the forest is in walking distance from my grandparent's house. If you're running, maybe 5 minutes, and walking about 10 minutes. It's amazing. The back with all the trees is the dark, cold, and yet beautiful forest.
A picture of the entire front side of the town I was nearby.
Just to give y'all a quick glimpse of how the houses are different over there as well. The whole style and layout is different, and yet very homey and cute.

This is another German castle standing in the middle of water, utterly amazing! A German family is actually still living in there, and maintain is daily. There have been many royal families dwelling therein in the past. A family once who had 22 children!
This town is where my brother Marc was born. If you look closely, there is a castle in the back of the picture. The villages and towns in Germany, especially where I was at, are so cute and beautiful!
I just love horses, and have grown to love them even more....these two beautiful horses live right in my grandparent's back yard. No, they don't own them, but they do share the property.
It's a very beautiful country! So green and lush, and the air is totally different than over here. God sure does leave his perfection in creation everywhere around the world.

Friday, June 5, 2009

I'M HOME!

Hello once again!!

I'm back....back from my trip to Europe. It was a great time, good moments with my grandparents and great grandma. I saw and realized the great need for this visit and knew that I had to be there. The flight on over was just fine, I was praying the entire time and just reflecting upon God, and it was amazing, by the time that flight was over, my faith grew a little bit more. I felt it for sure. When I took the return flight on home, I was not even a tad scared, I knew without a shadow of doubt that God was sitting right next to me in the spare seat! The time was indeed limited, and I tried to spent each and every second with them. I made many pictures and will keep them as a dear keepsake.

My brother fell in love with the German culture and life. He was born in Germany and thus felt a tad of connection. I was having a great time, and nevertheless, wanted to come home already this past Monday. I was homesick because the house was so quiet. I did not have my loving siblings to keep me company and to make me laugh and smile. I had the laughter, but still I missed their faces. To have all of their arms around me when I returned was great. However, while I was in this foreign land I felt the emptiness of Christ within this country. I was saddened and especially missed my Christian radio station. There was no sign of God, and all the young people were smoking and just living an awful life. This occurs within America as well, but at least there are Christians here!! I would often lie down in my bed and look at the stars and moon and just think and wonder. I prayed over the country as well when I was in the airplane. My heart is in America, and especially in Texas!!

It was a great trip, and I will be sharing some pictures of the scenery in the next couple of days. I've been awake for almost 24 hours now, and need to rest some before the busy week starts up again! I'm glad to be home and missed many things. I also felt amazed at how awesome God is and how omnipresent He is. I can talk to him in Illinois, and 4,000 and plus miles across the ocean! How awesome is that! Thanks for the prayers y'all and God BLESS!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Going Away For A Little While...

Hello y'all! I have just a quick post and a quick reason for why I won't be posting for about 2 weeks. I am flying out of Europe tomorrow....yes, I'm quite nervous and yet have the voice within my mind telling me to be calm and still and know that I am with you. God is near me and will guide me all the way on this trip. I am going with my oldest brother, and will be visiting my grandparents for the time. I have traveled alone before, but never to a different country! So, this is all a bit *new* for me and a little bit scary. However, God is by my side and Satan is trying to imprint thoughts of worry, fright, and fear within me. I know better to fight against those fears, it's not easy because I do have thoughts of, "What if...?" My God is with me and will guide my footsteps along the way. I would appreciate the prayers, because I feel real scared at the moment. Thanks friends and till then....

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Seeing God through a Poor Man's Eyes

When God mentions being poor in spirit, he does not mean what we think, however, he holds a different perspective on this phrase. When hearing the word poor, many of us will more or likely think of a beggar, or perhaps a homeless man, in addition, one who is in lack of money. Nevertheless, the Lord sees the poor with a total better analogy, a man; woman or child who is in definite need of God's help. In other words, we need to humble ourselves to the lowest point, and realize that we are nothing without Christ.

A man or woman who is full of pride and an attitude of "two good for anything" also carries the mentality of not needing a God. When a situation as such occurs, no person can understand and see God's holiness because their mind is supposedly too high for such an imagination, as some may call it. Nonetheless, a man or woman with a poor spirit can see God's beauty, His holiness, His perfections, His goodness, and His unconditional love. The Greek word for poor is thus, 'ptoe-KOSS' which simply means, "Life is difficult" or perhaps even a better and clearer definition, "I am not going to make it without help."

We need to acknowledge that we are wretched creatures, and our life needs to depend solely in Christ alone. The lowly run to their God, however, the foolish say there is no God. The only ones, who can see God, are the poor in spirit, the ones who are just and lower themselves lower then dirt, as to say. A boastful person sees no one and no necessity of relying and asking others for help. All they see are themselves and have a "my" vision. They also picture life as going solo, alone and therefore are totally fine without God.

Often, we may find ourselves perhaps being a bit too prideful, thus we need to ask Christ to humble our boastful spirit, so that we can have the wonderful gift of seeing and grasping God's holiness. Sooner or later, the arrogant man will fall, and by God's grace, he will notice the importance of Christ and an attitude of gratitude!

Friday, May 15, 2009

How to Praise Others and How to Receive Praise

The Bible commands us to not be prideful of our own selves and also not boast about our actions. Proverbs 27:2 says, "Let another man praise thee, and no thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips." Many times a man, woman, or child will boast of how wonderful they are or how talented they are. Nevertheless, our mouths should not say how "good" and "righteous" we are, because the Lord is looking for a humble spirit. In the first book of Corinthians, chapter 26:31 clearly states, "Let him who boasts, boast of the Lord." Therefore, we are encouraged greatly to be prideful and boastful of one very important subject, Jesus Christ! We can blamelessly talk of Jesus every second, although with a low spirit. If someone were to praise our character, then we should not just accept those words of kindness, however, say something in return and praise the one who taught you that character quality. Nevertheless, we need to be careful and alert on how we use our voice when we praise the character and or the attitude of family, friends, or others. Proverbs 27:14 wisely states, "He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him." In other words, if we were to purposely praise others with flattery because we want a word or two in return, then those words which we spoke are actually striking as pain like a snake whose poison hurts the inner soul. "At the last it biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder," thus says Proverbs 23:32. If we want to praise others, then it should be done with a humble heart and not expecting words in return. A humble heart and character will the Lord praise! "A man's pride shall bring him low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit." (Proverbs 29:23)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

What Will Your Choice Be?

This past week as I went shopping to a children's toy store, I was quite ashamed and appalled at how the media is introducing our young nation of children with immoral books and toys. To my surprise, I saw books for girls perhaps as young as 7 or so titled and all about 'boys, boys, boys.' One of the books was so sensual and a rather waste of money. It was titled, "Boys, boys, boys...." Then under the title, I saw what the book was all about, the top 50 or so cutest boys in Hollywood know all the insights from them. As I saw this, I was just thinking to myself, "How awful!" What a waste of ink, paper, and money. How sad and yet very disgusting at how our world is getting. Books as such are just causing girls to think of immoral thoughts. It is actually promoting sin! It makes girls wish to be with a guy as such, and to feel sad because perhaps they are not pretty enough. Another book which I spotted was, "How to make a guy attracted to you", that is just WRONG! And I am talking about 10 year old girls! That is even more shocking to me. A 10 year old needs to just stay pure, not worry about her looks, and not to be concerned what guys are thinking of her. The book titled, "Boys, boys, boys...." also including all the thoughts which guys think about girls and so forth!

When I see immoral things as such, my heart cries....it aches! I think of how awful and far our world is getting. This world is sucking up little girls, girls who are 8-10 these days are acting like 15 year old girls! All this foolish talk of who likes who, or my boyfriend, or all the insides of clothes and makeup and how to really get it on and make this cute guy look at me! Why, why do we want to impress a guy? We should not dig into all the celebrity gossip, or the 'talk' and 'secrets' of this world. Jesus is not looking for that, he is NOT interested in any of it! I have to remind myself of that ALL the time. I fall too, believe me. It is so sad how girls will feel inferior of themselves and will try to look so perfect and in the inside they are hurt and torn. All they want is the attention of a guy! They want his eyes on their body. I have spoken to many girls and most of them will say this, "I will know if I'm pretty if this guy just takes one look at me!" The world, my friends is terrible, it is an abomination to my eyes....if it hurts us Christians so, just imagine and think how it hurts our Father God in heaven?

There are many games out there which are selling and which many girls are buying because it tells who your 'crush' is. Or it will tell you how to get popular in school, or how to be the seller in your group of friends. Why....why all this foolishness? What is the purpose? What will it bring? NOTHING! Honestly, a lot of that silliness just brings pain to girls because they want what the teenage pop star girls of this world have...the money, the fame, the clothes, the looks, the guys, and all that worthless stuff. God does not want your money, He does not care if you are the most popular girl or the lowest girl ever. He wants that heart of yours. And He does not want it used, He wants it new! How many of you can give him that? Have you wasted your heart for someone else, perhaps a senseless guy? Please, please, please, do not sell your heart to anyone, but God alone! He needs it, and He WANTS it! Reading sensual books, articles, magazines, or whatever it is, is, to be honest and bold with you, wasting your time! All it is doing is creating this emptiness within many and this envy of wanting to look like this girl, and it is bringing you further and further away from Christ. I want to enter heaven with the words approaching, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" Not otherwise, "I know you not, depart from me you worker of sinful deeds!"

Will you read all the gossip, or try to make a guy stumble just because you want it. That is being selfish! My heart is ALWAYS being convicted because of my sinful attitude and mind, and Christ is showing me more and more who I am and who I am to be! Make your choice with God's word. You cannot redo a mistake. However, you can recommit your life to Christ, now is your time to do so! You have control of who you are, your thoughts are just like a taxi, "Once in, it drives you where you want to go!" That is just like the mind, you can have that control of what you will think of! What is your choice.....