Sunday, February 28, 2010

Discovering God's Plan for the Opposite Gender-Purity (Part 2)

It's a mere wonder why so many are curious about the fact of relationships and the opposite gender. I too have thought about this for a long time and came to the exact conclusion that many want the answer because they want to know what is fine and what isn't and how to succeed in life. There are many questions without answers, however, there is a promise which remains and it just takes time to rely upon God for Him to open the doors and our hearts. I have thought long and considered how I should approach this post and how I can bring the message and point across without being too open about certain issues. So, in this post I will discuss the factors of what to do if I am interested in him/her and what if I he/she is interested in me? These are quite tough to touch, nevertheless, by the grace and help of God, I will bring this post across clearly and perhaps it will touch one of you!

*To begin with, I'd like to mention a few things. Remember, at all times the words spoken here are my convictions, and I'm NOT GOD, and am just one of those people who like to speak the truth, but will not try to imprint it within your mind! Anyways, hopefully that was understood, shall we approach the most common struggles for the opposite sex?!*


Alright, many of you may battle against this topic, and may even say it over and over within your mind, not really knowing how to deal and conquer the temptation of the mind. One of the most common questions is, "What am I to do if I'm interested in him/her?" That is a very difficult question and a subject to cover which is really tricky as well. It is the point where we have to realize that unless God doesn't move and doesn't bring this particular guy/girl in my life, it won't happen. It is the practical message to many, whereas to others they may view it differently. Have you ever thought of the fact that many of us get ahead of God's actual plan? I was in a situation a few months ago, and I actually wanted to shoot the gun before God would, I was getting frustrated and just wanted to go ahead of the ballgame and see what would be the result. Well, as I was making up my mind to go first before God's command, I suddenly got struck in the head wasn't able of doing so because the situation changed and I was avoided from ever doing so. As I look back, I am so thankful that God stopped me from doing what I wanted to do, because it could of resulted badly instead of perfectly. Many of us want to get ahead of God and take Him by the hand instead of the opposite. We believe that we have life all planned out and that He is just there for a protection and a few comments. That is completely off of the line. In order for us to clear find the right answer and future for these touch and critical questions, we need to involve God. So, you may wonder, "I met this really nice and godly guy/girl, and I just have to get his/her number or email because I want to learn more about him/her!" Ever crossed your mind? Keep this in mind, The only way that we can have a God-centered and romantic marriage is if we allow God to take the pen and write out each and every step. The way is often heart wrenching and hurtful, nevertheless, the end reward my friends is so perfect and precious. We are to write a love song with our life, right now and just give it to God. Okay, lets say you are in thoughts and are just mesmerized about some particular guy/girl and really want to know them better, what are you to do; what is appropriate and what would be inappropriate?



  • Give it to God

  • Guard your thought life

  • Don't act differently around him/her

So, first of all, being attracted to a guy or girl isn't wrong, it's the attraction itself. If you simple allow the attraction to take control of your life and turn into an "idol" then that is dangerous and it is causing your initial focus and being to drift away from the real purpose, Christ. If that attraction is causing feelings of all sort of sinful things, then it is wrong, it is also developing heartache for your future spouse. If you are constantly consumed with this person and have taken your actions and decorum away from Jesus, then that is the level of imbalance. Nevertheless, if there is an attraction towards someone, and if you handle it and take it from the belt right away and know how to control it and keep it under the belt then it doesn't have to be labeled as inappropriate. Being set-apart and pure is the right thing, still keeping the Lord as the ultimate lover. Thus, the three points above are some of the best things to do if you feel that strong and lustful attraction creep on.



  • Give it to God: We may be deeply attracted to his/her looks, character, heart, motives, and role, nevertheless, if this is not the one God has for you, I'm sorry it will not happen, unless you do it out of your own power. Do NOT allow your emotions to get a toll on you, keep it under that belt. Remember that picture. Take those feelings and surrender them afresh to the love and will of God. He is the only one who can discern your true feelings and love for one.

  • Guard your thought life: Did you say, "Ah, the hardest one?!" It's alright, this is one of the hardest things, even harder for girls. It is so tempting to let those thoughts and feeling take a hold of you and capture you. Even if this certain person is everything you desire, those thoughts have no right to be there if it isn't a serious relationship. We are to take every thought captive. There is nothing wrong to notice his/her good and godly motives, but to constantly dwell upon those thoughts and wonder and imagine...yeah, that become destructive for the heart and for the respect of our future spouse. Picture this, if your future spouse were able of creeping within your mind, would he/she be very pleased? Ask God to enable your thoughts and emotions on Jesus Christ-not on another guy/girl. Start praying when those thoughts arise. Memorize Scripture and meditate on it. If you allow your emotions to take you, an error will arise down the road, I don't necessarily advice to pray for that guy/girl when you are thinking of him/her, just because the prayer may become obsessed about him/her, therefore, it is best to pray for another person. Put the message on your forehead that you will not be tempted to allow the thoughts to capture you're true purpose and goal of purity.

  • Don't act differently around him/her: This can be tricky and tough as well, since we want to get their attention, right? If you attempt to get out of your way just to impress him/her then your actions are definitely speaking louder than your words and your attraction can quickly morph into manipulation. It is that easy! Keep this in check. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) As I mentioned before, taking matters into your own hands, just to get his/her look will only bring destruction. No matter how strong those desires and feelings are, there is no reason to let them get ahead of you. Give God the pen, and He will be more than pleased to script and be the Author of your love life. He is very interested, don't think otherwise. Ask for peace and not for higher emotions. We may experience butterflies and bumblebees in our stomach, rid those off, easier said than done, but yield it to God and don't listen to your conscience and feelings, they often lead you off the right path. Remember, man doesn't know any good without God!

Next, what can or do I do if there is a girl/guy attracted or interested in me? So, this may be a tricky one, and I have also been bombarded with this question many times from girls and even from a guy once or twice. Remember to always guard your heart and emotions and to not let yourself get ahead. We are to pray in such situations and are to keep God as the center of our life, married or not married. This is very important for girls, do not share your heart with a guy. It also qualifies for guys, but it is a lot easier for a girl to randomly share her problems and feelings. We are to keep it shielded and the greatest gift is to allow the man to open it with a key given to him by our father. Selecting godly teammates is the absolute goal and purpose. We are far to young to make wise decisions, and that is why we need God to foresee all situations and we are to also include our parents or guardians. Ignoring our parents in such circumstances is the biggest mistake you could make. They know how and what is right for you, even when it often seems the opposite. Take a step back and ask for God's wisdom in every way. We need to move forward in a relationship possible courtship with the perfect peace of God, knowing that we are obeying our parent's and the will of God. Do not rush a situation, even if you're 30, you make think, "Time is running out!" In God's eyes, the time is never running out for His will, He planned it perfectly and will place everything in an ordained and orderly way. He is the one putting the relationship together, building the teammates. Pray, get godly counsel and righteous counsel. Also keep in mind that the guy or girl needs to be a strong Christian, not doubting his or her salvation, but having Christ also at the center of their life and relationship. God will not let you hang, he knows that there is someone interested in you, and if you happen to be attracted to him/her He is the One who truly meets and fulfills the desires of your heart! Just wait, it's a hard a painful wait at times, often with tears, nevertheless, in a few years, we can look back and see that result of waiting as a blessing, either being married to the man/woman of God's will, or being single for His special and perfect plan. I will discuss that more in the upcoming posts.

So, in conclusion to all of this, I just want you to keep it posted within your mind that you are to run to the Prince of Peace and Lover of your soul. Draw unto Him, and He will clearly show you the way for all circumstances. "Draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you." (James 4:8) It can be a deary and dry wait, or it could be a wait of joy and peace, knowing that the burden is in the Maker's hands. When He is in His rightful place, every confusion and bewildering thing in your life will finally begin to make sense. Keep in mind, He cares more about this area of your life than you even do! It's your love life, and He will make it the most beautiful story, if you just let Him!

In His Will,
Vanessa

*Some of the ideas and information came from the books, "When God Writes Your Love Story", and "Answering the Guy Questions" both from Eric and Leslie Ludy.*

6 comments:

Grace said...

Excellent post, but sometimes hard to acually apply, especially the part about not acting differently. I love that verse about the desires of our hearts. It's one of my absolute favorites and it's so very comforting that God cares about our desires and will bless those desires in one way or another.

Daniel Turack said...

Great Post. And excellent advice especially about the part about not acting differently around them. I found that also has to do with if you spend alot of your time thinking about the person, it makes it alot harder to act normal around them.

I remember when I was younger I had the false impression that I was a very bad person because I was attracted to a girl. Thankfully I learned soon after that attraction is natural and given by God. As you said it's what we do with that attraction that determines whether or not it's sin.

Excellent advice as well in regard to dealing with someone else being attracted to you. Our parents many times see things in a person that we may be blinded to because of our attraction to them. I knew a guy in our church whose parents strongly advised him against marriage to a girl. Unfourtunatly they got married anyway, had a child, and are now divorced. One of the biggest problems in thier marriage came from an issue that his parents had warned the young man about.

Thanks again for posting. And I'm still waiting on those questions you said you would ask me. :)

In Christ,
Daniel Turack

Isaac Lewis said...

Thanks for the post.

Elena said...

Great post!!!

Sophie said...

I know how fun it is to get comments, so I'm commenting:) Thanks for the post--it was excellent! I am always blessed by finding blogs by other young people who are passionate about God and His Word and living for Him! I agree, thought life can be really hard, especially in regard to those terrible crushes! But God is so good, He must increase and the other gender must decrease!
I'm excited to keep up with your blog...keep it up and glorifying the Lord with your posts! You have already blessed me after one post!

Sophie

calebgreen said...

Found your blog after rambling over blogspot for awhile.

Was encouraged to see you trying to apply and then share with others the principles of godly relationships.

Amen. This world can use strong dose of that. And the 'christian' community is by and large not here to tell them.

Anyway, God bless and keep on representing the King!!
In Christ,
Caleb