Saturday, November 27, 2010

He Must Increase,but I Must Decrease....

I turned a year older, school started, the days got colder and shorter, the leaves turned and are now all raked, Thanksgiving came, and now I sit and write the annual Christmas letter; through it all my blog was entirely forgotten!

I cannot believe how fast summer and fall went by. How quickly my life turned pages into another chapter. I have asked myself so many times...where has the time gone and taken me? As I sit on my desk and right out my thoughts I realize that the past few months have probably been the toughest months yet, nevertheless God has reminded me over and over that He is unchangeable, unstoppable, and impossible. When I thought that my world was falling apart, or when I didn't have the strength to climb the mountain, He was always close and holding my hand. He watched me take my first step in faith, yes He saw me stumble but because of those falls and the callous on my knees it has built a stronger character all around me. I went through storms with pounding thunder and great strikes. Every door that opened at some point, only closed days or weeks later. I lost so much; possessions, money, friends, etc. Through it all I could not see God one bit. I doubted Him, I shied and cried in fear. God could not help me until I accepted the fact that my life is not His life, and no matter what happens He is in ultimate control.

In September, the Lord brought me to a low point-possibilities shut, things taken away, friendships lost; what else Father? Only one more trial came my way, what more? My high school graduation, work, and babysitting money was stolen. Okay God, I give up! I uttered a cry from the depths of my soul, "Father, I'm done...I cannot do this on my own anymore! I'm broken, and I'm sorry for planning my future, it's yours!" From that moment on the Lord was able of working in my life. He was able of breaking chains, clearing dirty passage ways, and creating a new person and life. He began to show me His plans, His way, and His purpose for my life. Even though He has shown me the way through a clearer view, it hasn't been easy. However, I don't care anymore because everything I once had is lost, and I realized that it is not my life, BUT HIS! A strong woman once told me, "When God guides, He provides!" I was blessed by my boss and by a friend. When we learn to give up, the Father will return with greater!!

Through each battle, the Almighty blessed me even more. He brought new friends in my life. He showed me who my true and lasting friends are, the ones who will encourage me no matter what, and the ones who will tell me that God needs to cut here and there. I don't have much more to say, although Holy is the Lord, God Almighty. The trials aren't over yet...I know that there will be more. Nonetheless, my strength rests in the Lord. I am blessed all over!

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step!" -Martin Luther King, Jr.

1 comment:

Josh said...

It is great to hear from you Vanessa...I have been praying for you throughout the past few months and I am so glad for the work God is doing in your heart and life. As horrible as these trials can be, one day you will look back at this time in your life and thank God for the trials, knowing that your faith was made stronger as a result! He is our deliverer and that is something that I learned to rest in.

Have a blessed day!
Rejoicing in Him,