Monday, December 29, 2008

Part 1...guys!

I hope y'all had a great Christmas?! I sure did, and I had a great big surprise too!

I have been thinking these past days while I have been off school...what should I post about on my blog? Should I touch the subject of guys and girls?! It came back and forth in my mind...yes, no?! I don't know! Not until this morning in my quiet time did I get a voice speak and say, "Yes, do it!" So, you might know what I will say, this is a subject which many don't like to touch, especially Christians. But, lets face it, do we have this problem, often starring at the other gender, or are we totally ignoring and have no problem at all?

Ok, buckle up your seat belt, stay on your computer chair, and read my words, here we GO!

Do you have an issue about this thing with guys. Whenever you see a guy, and lets say there's something you like about him, do you have thoughts about this guy, or do you block them out immediately? Is it something that comes easy to you, or do you struggle in this area? When my 13th birthday came around I saw guys from a different perspective, there were boys I knew for a long time and they were just there. When that birthday came I saw guys from a point I never saw before. I saw the cuteness in them and was aware that THERE IS a BIG difference between us! I was getting all happy and didn't see the danger in my foolishness. I have talked to a few girls and they all have had the same experience, some earlier than others, or some later on in life. Come on, honestly, don't tell me you have gone through your single year and haven't noticed a single guy where your heart goes up and down? I have a friend and she once told me that this is a normal feeling for a girl. When we see a guy we like, we get out of our way, and maybe our heart jumps up a bit too. Now, here's a question for you girls to answer! Is It OK to Have a Crush on a Guy? I'm going to leave you girls with this question, it's up to you to answer with leaving a comment, and then in my upcoming post I will post about that subject and continue where I have stopped!

Is this feeling all normal, or am I nuts? Just wait, stay on your chair and see what I will write!


Elena said...

You know, I am not sure. God put hormones inside of us when he made us and I think those hormones have to do with some of it. When a girl starts puberty the hormones in her body start to change. And I think that's about the time when we start to take an interest in guys. But then, the bible does say that we should not lust for anything. Then I think that means we should not look at a guy and let our heart go crazy and we should not have crushes. This is probably something that every young lady should pray about.

Anonymous said...

Woe!!! And to think - this is only part one! haha...anyway...I'm gonna start my own blog pretty soon so I might say a little about this subject on my blog, cuz I have a totally wide opinion on girl/boy stuff. So, here it is in a nut-shell. I believe with my whole heart that God put feelings in girls and boys from early ages on, and ofcourse as we grow older, our hormones start working more and more, becoming more and more aware of the opposite sex. We can feel attracted or have crushes on those boys/girls. But really, if your'e following Christ and you are very close to Him, you will see for yourself - when He is King and Lord of your life, you will be so in love with Him first of all, you won't notice any of those crushes as much as you used to. Now I've had a few crushes in my life, and I still have feelings for some of them, my mind is often filled with them, but I am so in love with Jesus, I automatically pray for them, I talk to Jesus of them - Jesus IS my one true love after all! It's OK to have crushes, I belive, and it's OK to think of them sometimes, but don't make them your idols! (an idol is something you worship - something you praise and talk about or think about constantly, something or someone who means the world to you, someone you may even desire.) When we idolize our crushes, it becomes very dangerous. They become our focus and THAT is the point where we really should stop and turn around back to Jesus. "For all that [is] in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 1 John 2:16. That, my friends, is it in a nut-shell. If you lust after someone with your eyes (even if it's just their face)it is idolatry, and we should only 'lust' with a pure lust after Jesus and the things of God. THAT should be our main crush, (girls especially). Your earthly crush didn't die for you. He/she didn't pay your sin-debt. They are not your all, your fulfillment of all things hoped for. Jesus IS evrything. He died for YOU. Ü It's hard to end it here, but I'm gonna have to.

Anonymous said...

Interesting! I won't say anything on the subject, but I will look forward to Part 2.


Kalani said...

I like the suspense you place in your posts Nessa, it really makes you on watch for the next post!
I'm not sure of your definition on crush but 3 verses come in mind after reading this post.
1. Guard your heart...
2. Castng down every imagination...
3. Walk in the light...
I think it is normal to have thoughts come up but no "crush" should capture our heart and our thoughts should be ones we would not be ashamed of to declare them outloud. (coming to light/ declared on the mountain tops) Responding in prayer is the best response I think and also if thoughts on a particular boy keep coming up then I think you should tell your father.
Also any thoughts on a boy should pass the test of being true, honest, just, pure, lovely,good report; virtue, praise.

Allison said...

If all of a sudden you start noticing a guy or liking him, the attraction itself may at first be okay BUT you need to begin taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ from the first moment. If you continue to think about a certain guy, I believe it's wrong. Now, that first sentence could be interpreted that I think it's okay to have a crush, and I don't. I mean when you notice someone in the very beginning you might not be able to help it--and that's when you need to start praying!! We may not be able to help our initial attraction, but we can help what we do with the attraction and feelings following!

You asked: "Whenever you see a guy, and lets say there's something you like about him, do you have thoughts about this guy, or do you block them out immediately?"
I do struggle with thoughts sometimes. But if I begin to have thoughts about a guy, I start praying, or pray for someone else! I've also noticed that when I meet a new guy I have a hard time being nice without wanting to give the appearance that I like him, so I tend to keep away. It's not that I like them (I never like someone on first appearance/meeting), but I don't want to be "overfriendly"--know what I mean?

If you do have a crush, a few things that I think are vitally important are to:
1)PRAY! &
2) Not give any hints; no flirting, no telling anyone but your parents (who can pray for you) that you like a guy.
3) Not continuously daydream about him, or you together--whatever! Not wise!

I like the way Sarah Mally explains it in Before You Meet Prince Charming: "“A heart that is truly guarded must have no vacancies—no empty spaces that need to be filled, no voids that leave open places and room for the enemy to get in. When God asks for our heart, He asks for all of it. He wants to fill every part with Himself. He completes us. Only when we are satisfied in Him will we be able to selflessly give our lives for others. We need to put up a sign that says, ‘No Vacancies’. Except we don’t need a sign—others will notice simply by our lives. They can see if our heart has voids and is unfulfilled, seeking attention from others, or if we are filled with Jesus, overflowing with love and joy, and seeking to spread His light wherever we go."

I'm interested in seeing what your thoughts are!

Katherine Zeller said...

This is a good thing to talk about because us girls as friends need to keep each other accountable. I think every girl does go through stuff like this because it is completely normal we are made this way. To say it is wrong to have these feelings would put every girl on a guilt trip. But we have to be sure not to tell ourselves "This is normal it is fine to act like this." We need to guard our hearts and keep our minds on God at ALL times. If we have totally given our hearts to God we will try to look for the right things in guys not just looks. If you live every day thinking, "Oh maybe I will see him today or maybe he will come back for me", that is not right. If we have feelings for a guy for the right reasons we will wait for God's timing and keep praying that our thoughts about this guy will go away if it is not His will that you have them and be consistent in praying because it may take years but God answers prayers. We should just pray and follow His plan and trust in Him to provide the perfect man at the perfect time.

Noelle said...

Hi Vanessa!

Thank you for posting about this...I'm sure it can get confusing for a lot of girls! It used to be for me when I was younger, but I've become rather firm in my convictions and it's not a point of confusion any longer. I don't have time to expound right now, but as soon as I do, I will definitely give you my opinion! I'll try to get back to you this evening. If I can't, however, like I said, I will as soon as possible. :)

Blessings, and thanks again!


Anonymous said...

Well I guess its gonna happen, but we as girls should try to avoid thinking about this guy or that guy (Romantically I mean). I suppose if we were seriously involved with a guy and intending to marry them...then it would be okay to think about them all the time. Otherwise I think its probably better if we don't. (Much easier said than done. :)

Kaila B. said...

I believe that it's perfectly normal as a girl get's older, to start thinking differently about boys. God put that in us because it is His plan for many of us to become future wives and mothers. It is extremely important for us to control these emotions.

I choose to talk to my mom about these types of things because she's already gone through this and she knows what are the right and wrong ways to handle these thoughts.

In my situation, I ask my mom to talk to my daddy and then he will give me his advice after hearing what I'm thinking.

A book that I've been studying with my Bright Light's group, called, "His Chosen Bride" by Jennifer Lamp Neef, deals with this issue. In the book, she talks about the importance of doing our future husband good all the days of our lives. I believe that if we are having lots of different "crushes" then we are giving parts of our heart away and not doing our future husband good all the days of our lives.

Right now while I am single, I am called to be intimately involved with Jesus Christ. I want to spend time in His word, memorize His truth, get to know Him, think His thoughts and love Him.

However, we can't feel guilty that we have emotions. God gave them to us. If I have thoughts toward a boy, then my parents always suggest that I turn those thoughts into prayers for that person. Only God knows who my future mate will be and I completely trust Him with my future. I don't want to waste my single years, I want to use them to prepare myself to be the best wife that I can be to the man God will bring to me someday.

In the meantime, I will be friendly to the young men I meet under my daddy's protection.