Lately, since I have been away from the blogging world, I have come to thought of many new posts, many which I should share, and yet a few which I cannot possibly put in words. My mind often comes to a brake and all the thousands of thoughts vanish away for one second, oh how lovely that is, and then suddenly, on point 2 seconds, they return. I have come to a broad conclusion, that we all struggle with thoughts. Some of us more than others. It may be the thought of, "Oh, so much to do!" or perhaps something more common such as, "I wonder where, who, and when, my future spouse is?" I talked to a young lady the other day and she mentioned something like this, "Vanessa, I often find myself thinking of someone I don't even know...I many times think if there will even be a husband for me." The sad thing is, many of us who are single can think upon thoughts like this way too much, and shockingly, before we even realize it, it can become an idol in our thoughts, worrying who is he/she, when is he/she coming, do I already know who he/she is? I am speaking on my behalf, and this is very difficult. I often would like to know myself who he is, nevertheless, I have read an article a few weeks back which stated, "If we are so in love with God, the feeling of wanting to know our future spouse which being single will diminish more and more." Of course, more or likely, we all have desires to be married, those desires are normal because God did create this inner love within us for the opposite sex. This does vary between each of us, and I know from myself, and many others that they have the desire and wanting to get married some day. Although, while waiting for this person, and often dreaming of what the future will be like (girls, this is for you), we need to be very cautious of not taking too quick of a step. Many times we may catch ourselves in thinking of someone perhaps who have captured our eyes, one who may seem like he/she fits all of our qualities which we want in a spouse, someone who we may dream of living with? Yes, it is often exciting, these thoughts, these feelings, nevertheless, please be careful into what your mind tricks you with. Even if you have never had these thoughts or feelings, control your emotions and actions. I spoke with a young lady this past week, "Vanessa, if only I would know who my future husband is, I wouldn't be such a flirt!" Why, cause yourself to be flirty and risky just because you think your future spouse isn't looking. Nevertheless, there is one always looking, and I believe you can answer that yourself...that very one, is Christ Jesus, watching your every step, your every gaze, your every action, your every word, your everything!
I often stare into the air, gazing, or just wondering what the next five years bring, although, this can cause us to become depressed, or even more lonely. Just think, do you possibly believe at this very moment that you can mother children? Or, could you provide for your family? It is difficult to stay pure, many times I feel like riding on a roller coaster, each and every day is different. I had once a young man tell me, "Vanessa, aren't girl's emotions different day by day?" So very true. Our hearts just need to be guarded, and held tight, safe and secure. You do not want to jump into a relationship too quickly, and thus find yourself deeply in love, however, finding yourself later on in life in a mess because many times when two young people are in love, they do not see the mistakes, this is dangerous! You may be 18 and married, or 28 and still walking around single. Whatever age you are, you have your complete purpose in this world, following God and knowing that He has complete charge of your single years, your courtship days, your engagement moments, and your married life. Just keep in mind to not dream upon this man or woman. Sometimes we may think that we already know him/her, and at other times, it is as if not. I speak of that on my behalf, feeling those very words, and often wanting to believe them, nonetheless, I am at the same moment glad that I do not know who he is because, God has a purpose and a will in my life. He has that exact plan for you as well, because He wants your heart, and patience is being learned. Yes, it is important to have a goal for your life, to know what you want to do etc., just play it on the safe side, not going total overboard.
As I sit here today, at the age of 17, my thoughts are often crowding my mind, forming a cloud, and if I allow that cloud to captivate my mind, I do not feel free, nevertheless, burdened. I will not carry the role of courtship in my own hands, God needs to take my future, and I pray that you allow Him to do the same with you. Yes, I do many times imagine what life will be like, and I want my husband to cover me in the Word of God, and to protect me, to guide me and our future family, and so much more. In addition, we are all worry way too much, and our worry and anxiety will often cause us to become lonely and far more. Whoever, your future spouse is, I pray that we will be strong when temptation arises, if you are one of those who waste your single years jumping from guy/girl to guy/girl, boldly and yet the truth, you are causing yourself much hardship. Just because you are young and single, you may believe that flirting with the opposite sex is far normal, think twice. You can't even wait for that special person, you are looking for other relationships, something to satisfy you at this moment. The way you act now, it can possibly affect your future. It is very hard to stay pure, for some physically, and others mentally. Nevertheless, ground yourself in the Word of God, find encouraging words there, seek the counsel of your parents or perhaps your guardian/grandparents, and know that you can do all things through Christ because He gives you strength. Even if you have messed up, and you have realized that you have, you are such an encourager to the ones who are trying to do that which is right the first time. You are to use your single years as a blessing, doing wise doings, serving your family and others, and seeking God day and night. It is so worth the wait, I know that it is hard, however, I long for my future spouse, and I know that when I meet him (Lord willing), I can say that I waited, and he has done the same for me! Our thoughts can cause us to turn bitter, or quite the opposite, to stay joyful because knowing that patience creates a great price!