Saturday, November 21, 2009

What Shall I Do?

I have been away for a few weeks, actually more than a few, more like many. I have been in many thoughts and sensations these past weeks, dazzled with many emotions and feelings, and yet always had the thought of, what is the exact mission and purpose of my blog. I have even considered discontinuing my blog, however I have had a friend and my brother state otherwise. They both told me to continue this ministry and to pursue what God is telling me to do. I have developed a sense of confusion and to be honest with all of you, a complete blank mind on what to do. When I first began this blog, my initial intent was to encourage young girls with emotional, physical, and mental purity, and to be a strong and powerful light for Christ. As months went on, new bloggers approached my blog, new comments were seen, and the vision and purpose which I had gradually shifted to something else. That 'something else' is a thing that I do not even know. I have prayed to God for weeks, just wanting to know my plan and purpose here in life, as well as for my blog. I was very much into my blog months ago, and suddenly, my life has taken shifts, turns, and changes. Situations which I cannot control, and some which I have all the power to handle. What a comfort it is although to just run into the hands of God, crying out all of the tears and hurts, just knowing the there is an ultimate peace and love in the God of salvation. My friends, I highly appreciate your dedication to this blog, even though I have been gone. The comments which I have received are so encouraging, so uplifting, and so refreshing. My words can never thank you enough, some of you I do not even know, but I feel as if I have known you long because the blood of Jesus Christ brings us close together. Yet again, I have turned from the exact meaning of this post. I still do not know what my purpose is for this blog. I do not even know if I am touching lives with this site, perhaps it is something that I want, and God is telling me otherwise. Perhaps you can sense confusion between the words? I know that I do not have to carry the weight of who I am, because God has His all forgiving love on me. At times I feel alone, just wanting to be with God, because that is who I am. I know that I am a treasure in the arms of Christ, and if He wants me to continue my ministry on this blog, then so be it, nevertheless, if I feel a sense of the opposite, then I will choose to follow that call and leading. As I have said before, this is all a thought; God is my source, my hope, and through my struggles He will be there, not letting me go through it alone. Even when I feel like it at times. I call and He hears me, I feel empty, but I'm holding on, because He's with me. Even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, His love will cover me!

God Bless,
Vanessa

10 comments:

Josh said...

Oh, Vanessa! You can't discontinue your blog. It has been such an encouragement to me and my sister (Jenna). You've done an excellent job
=)
I wish I could say just the perfect something that would encourage you in your difficult time! My dad and I were talking the other day, and I was feeling quite "down" myself. And as we were talking, Dad just reminded me that in our weakness, Jesus can show himself strong. If we were perfect, we wouldn't need a savior. This was such an encouragement to me, and it came to my mind when I was reading this post.
Anyway, I will definitely be praying for you as you seek the Lord.
God Bless you dear sister in the Lord,
Josh

Jenna said...

Dear Vanessa,
I just want you to know that I have been very blessed by your blog posts and heart for Jesus, and it really encourages me to know that there are other sisters in Christ on the same road that I'm on - the straight and narrow way.

It is good to evaluate why we're doing things, and I would understand if you decided that God wanted you to delete this blog, though I certainly pray that is not the case.

Also, in this world there is much to get discouraged and sometimes depressed about. Just remember that because we know Jesus Christ, we have no reason to be sad, but instead, full of Joy. God is good and HIS faithfulness endures forever!

Read James 1:1-8...I think that it will bless you today:)

Your Sister in Jesus,
Jenna

Bethany said...

Vanessa,
Though I am a new follower, I just want to encourage you not to let life drag you down. I've been in tough situations before that I could have let get me depressed. Instead, I pressed on, looking to Christ for guidance. No, it's not always easiest but you will be thankful for it in the long run.
I will be praying for you!
~Bethany~

Elena Pizarro said...

Please keep posting on your blog!! It is very encouraging and very helpful. I'm the oldest and you're like an older sister giving advice. I can talk to my mom about thiss stuff, but she grew up during a different time and she wasn't homeschooled and didn't always dress modestly. Like you've told me before, you went through stuff that I'm either going through or will go through. This blog has been such a blessing. Keep it up!!

Moriah said...

Vanessa,
I will be praying that God will guide you! We all have the thought of "What purpose do I have in my blog?" I will greatly miss reading your blog if you think that God is leading you in that direction, but if it be His will, let it be done.
I have been going through some rough times lately too, and my family has been telling me that I need to lay my burdens and desires at the Cross of Jesus and let Him decide what my life will hold. It is an on-going process that takes time, God's time.
I hope you will continue blogging!

DannyT077 said...

Vanessa,
I think this is a situation where you ultimately need to make this descision for yourself. I would say that you should definantly keep praying about it and asking for advice from those you respect. I must say however that you are definantly touching lives with your blog. I don't think any of this has been a waste. Even the recent discussion where many disagreed was still beneficial. Keep up the good work.
In Christ,
Daniel Turack

Adam said...

Maiden of Purity

Your Blogg has been a great
encouragement to me(Adam) and
my sister(Marci). :)

In Christ alone are we Strong

Adam :)

LuluDiego said...

WOW!!! What a testimony to the work you do on this blog. It is so neat to see the many responses you've had concerning your doubt about writing. There is a need out there and you are meeting it!! What a blessing you are to so many!! My advice....keep it up!! I'll be praying for you! mrs. b

Kyrie said...

Dear Vanessa, Thank you for the comment you left on my blog - I have now read a little of your's, and would encourage you to keep it up We all have doubts at times... I will be praying that the Lord will show you the direction HE would have you to take!

SOLI DEO GLORIA!

-Kyrie<><

Vanessa said...

Everyone,

I really appreciated each one of your comments. They were so uplifting and so warm to the heart. I felt God's words through many of them, knowing that they were spoken by Him to show me the way. I will speak more in an upcoming post, as of now I will just follow what God has called me to do, continue this ministry! Thank you dear friends!

Vanessa