Sunday, January 10, 2010

Adressing Purity: Introduction

Purity, is this a topic which strikes many of you? I have heard from many young people about their struggles and ongoing tests about this area in life. It is as if it is something always occurring daily perhaps. I have been confronted with questions from young girls, asking me, some almost begging me for answers to just have a clear and pure mind. The thought of that comes upon me as almost heart breaking, because so young are these girls and they already are having to go through such struggles and pains of immoral and sinful thoughts. Recently, I have been asked this question and this certain question rises among many of the girls that I converse with. It is such a question which is bewildering, confusing, dazzling, and plain out confusing. Yes, this post, as I am writing it will be about purity once again, because there is such a need of this talk. So many young teenagers battle with this, Christian or not. It is something that many do not know how to handle and deal. Thus, the question which is brought up is, "How do I interact with the opposite sex?" That is perhaps the biggest and most strongest struggle many have. I speak for myself. Many times I ask my own mind, "Is this gesture or behavior appropriate, or am I going a tad too far?" I am saddened by our culture and the way society conducts itself. There are millions of young teenagers who do not know a thing about purity. They just take the step, out of their box and do the wrong thing. Having physical intimacy at such a young age. They do not know how to converse and interact with others, they believe they do, however, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they don't. They are just a whole bunch of hormone-troubled-confused-teenagers! This may sound bold, harsh, and even weird. Yes, I am a bold and outspoken person, and just as one of my friends mentioned the other day, in this world Vanessa, you're going to have to stand up and be different if you want the truth to be spread. So, lets battle this question and take it down; how do I interact with the opposite sex, what is too much and what is too little?

Well, to begin with, whatever you're doing is that appropriate in the eyes of God? Second, when we say, 'what is too much' then basically we are already stepping over the boundaries and not following the biblical principles. What does God say about the opposite sex, and how are we to deal with them, because they are there. Almost everywhere you go, there is either a guy or a girl, and maybe they're some really interesting guys and girls, perhaps good looking, and breath taking. Although, what is God saying about this? "Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart."(2 Tim. 2:22) Ah, it says it right there, right in Timothy, FLEE, God commands us to not just back off and touch it lightly, but rather to FLEE! Wow, that is powerful! What are we to flee from? Youthful lusts, such things as pornography and sexuality. If you are weak to such things, then by all means do not surround yourselves with such temptations. I know that some guys are feeble and not strong at all when it comes to filthy images, and sexuality, then the best way to stop those emotions and feelings is to walk away and not return to that way and path of living. Ok, so I have drifted a little bit from the main purpose of this post, but those were some things which I had to address. Alright, conversing with the opposite sex, that's where I left off.

I know that some Christians are completely against this and command and practically dictate their children to not involve themselves with the opposite gender and to be completely biased towards them. Ok, as for myself, I cannot imagine that. I do know that it is godly to interact with the opposite sex with caution and of course other guidelines. We are not to through ourselves at them, nor purposefully want to be in their presence, or perhaps even this, email or anything else to get their attention. It is very hard not to do this. And I have admit that one of my hardest things is not to come across as too friendly and flattering. So, how are we to act and talk with the opposite gender? You may think now or even ask yourself, "Am I to be a hermit and totally isolate myself?" No, not at all, BUT, don't go the total opposite and cling to the opposite sex. Instead, act with all purity and godliness. Ask God how you are to act around a guy or girl. What is it that He qualifies and justifies. I know that it is very hard, and for some of us, it isn't at all. I have talked with both guys and girls about this, and actually, if I average it all out, the girls have the hardest struggle with this because they want to be so kind and it is very easy for a girl to become emotionally attached and attracted and also as being a girl we desire to have a prince charming and by getting to know a guy we try to find out if he is interested in us. As for guy, this is a slight difference as I had the opportunity to talk to a few guys about this. Yes, they do desire to marry, however, they do not get easily attached, but rather they have the tendency to talk about girls and also imagine however, not so seriously be ready for something major. A girl can think of her future with someone she may like in less than 5 seconds if not careful. As for a guy, this is a little bit different. He often sees a girl in a different perspective, more drawn to the girl because of her beauty. Both ways are wrong, imagining our future with someone just because he may be cute, or drawn to a girl just because of her beauty! Absurd. Believe me, I used to be like that; thinking just because he looks 'all fine' he must be fine. Nevertheless, over the years of my youth, God has changed my thinking, and I am by all means not attracted to just a simple guy, he has to be a warrior poet, one who can capture my heart with his motives and actions, not just because he may appeal to be awesome, we're talking about a person who you live with for life! Ok, so how do we treat each other in everyday life? How are we to build a healthy guy/girl friendship? What kind of conversations are honoring? Is it true that my decorum can be shown in my body language? What should I do when I'm attracted to a guy or girl? What about the fear of being single for life? And how to deal with the opposite sex whether in conversations, actions, or motives. All of this will be discussed in the weeks to come. God is the one who planted within us love and romance, so who is better than Him to turn to counsel? Alright, I just decided that I will continue with this and it will become a series.There are so many topics that I wish to touch, and it would get all to long to do it in this post. So, my fellow friends, till next time and may God bless you in the weeks to come, stay tuned!

In His honor,



Southern Maiden said...

I love it how you said in closing "In His honor". Keep it up girl!

Bethany said...

Excellent post! I'm looking forward to the rest of the series!


Jason A. Hunsicker said...

Wow! Keep doing what you are doing Vanessa. You hit on some things that even I as 22 year old adult have not yet fully learned. I'm definitely going to continue to read what you have to say on this topic. Well, I guess I should say I'm going to continue to read what God says through you on this topic.

Jenna said...

Beautiful post, Vanessa. Purity is no-where these days for most people...I'm so thankful that you write these amazing posts about it and bless others in this way!!

Your friend,

Josh said...

Good Morning Vanessa!
Glad to see you "back"! I have always loved discussing purity and learning appropriate behavior around the opposite sex. In my humble opinion, it hasn't been that much of a raging struggle because, my parents have, since I was young, cultivated in us, a proper attittude towards the opposite sex.
My parents never talked about "cooties", but instead encouraged us to treat others like brothers and sisters. And that has only become more helpful to me throughout the years as I grow older...

Thank you for being the Salt and the Light to our generation dear sister. It is such an encouragement to see you throw off the shrouds of culture and stand for what you believe! I look forward to the coming posts!
In Christ,

Adam said...

{Excellent!! Post!!!!!!!!!}

"For God sees not as man sees, for man looks
at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Peter 3:3-4

Signed a Brother in the Lord



Yehaa some time's I feel like I'm going to be (A Hermit)But the Lord is always reminding me that He is my strenth when I am weak..
To God Be THe GLORY!!!!!

Jessica Faith said...

Thank you thank you thank you!
Wow Vanessa! I love your blog i love following you and i love what you say.
I have been told before that i speak my mind just like you - and if we do it in love (speak the truth in love) we are helping God's people. So don't worry! Thanks for the post - i'm eagerly looking forward to the rest of the series!

Maiden of Purity said...

Hey y'all,

I have put comment moderation up because I had someone comment and they left a link which was very inappropriate. I was ashamed and disgusted that someone would do something like that. So, now I have decided to put comment moderation up so that I can view anything before it gets out of hand! Thanks for understanding.


Elena said...

Great post!! I'm TOTALLY looking forward to the rest of the "Adressing Purity" series!!!

Daniel Turack said...

Great Post! This is definantly a major issue for young people today. Looking forward to reading more.

In Christ,
Daniel Turack
PS. That's annoying about the comment that was left. Some people just arn't very considerate.