The other night as I was sitting in my bed just thinking, I looked upon my day and just thought. I was confused and my mind felt clouded to all the things occurring around me. So many thoughts found it's way through in just minutes. Thoughts of negativity, crept in as well, and then in the far corner, I saw the thought of, "Vanessa, what exactly are you doing here, what is your purpose?" I struggled with that thought, and battled against it because there are many circumstances within my life at the moment where I would just love to have God's exact answer right away. Nevertheless, I am learning to this very minute that I have to wait and just rely upon Him. If it was my will and my way, I would of already acted to what I'm struggling with. However, we often miss God's perfect plan for our lives, we rush it without stopping to hear what He has to say. I have come to the point this morning that I broke down, my heart is completely crushed, and I do not have any answer on my own, it is completely God's choice and answer for my life. It is whatever He wants, and not what I want. Not my will, but His will! If confusion creeps within your mind, it is not of God. Remember, God is NOT the author of confusion. I have given my everything, I owe nothing anymore, and my life is totally in His hands. I have acted many times out of my own will, and tried to do it all my own, but suddenly, this circumstance within my life came for a total reason because I cannot solve it alone. God is going to intervene and do it, when He wants, and not when I want it fixed. We cannot get in between His plan, we need to give him the full charge, and just wait and see what He will do. Trying to rush things just because we think it would fix it all can mess up God's perfect will for our life!
Of course, when we allow God to take control of the shift, a burden is lifted. When I came to the conclusion of this, He brought me to this song, and the first verse and chorus of it, is exactly relating to my life at the moment, and how God needs to come on in. I hope it will speak to y'all as well.
SAVIOR, PLEASE (Joshua Wilson)
Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please, keep saving me
*Y'all need to check out this song, beautiful and amazing! I know the young man who composed it, and now he himself is getting out into the Christian media world-such as the radio, it's awesome!!