Thursday, July 16, 2009

To Kiss Or Not To Kiss?

What about the first kiss? When should it be done, and why wait for the wedding ceremony? Some people say, "Oh, why wait for that special person...one kiss won't hurt ya?" Whereas, others may have a complete different opinion, "Honor and respect each other, and save your purity, as well as the first kiss for your life mate someday!" That second statement is what I believe. I believe that the Bible teaches that all sexual activity outside of marriage is sin, and all romantically oriented physical activity is sexual activity. In my view, this includes premarital kissing. Now, I'm going to take this whole 'kissing' issue and break it down.

First of all, when I'm talking of a kiss, I mean the relation of a girl and guy emotionally and physically giving each other a kiss on the lips. A virgin is a girl who has not had any physical relationship with any young men. We as girls need to remain virgins until the day of marriage. The moment a young man and lady kiss each other before they agree to marry, is in my eyes impure and they have now broken God's promise of remaining pure and holy. Leviticus 21:13 says something which speaks the bold and bare truth, "And he shall take a wife in her virginity." It does not state that he shall take a wife who is immoral and impure. When God tells us something, He sure known what He is talking about. Guys, there may be young women who are beautiful and may act kind towards you, nevertheless, if she has been kissed already and has wrapped herself around others, what gives you the desire to know her more? A kiss is something delicate and should only be done at your wedding, and from that moment on with the man or woman you married. In the world we live in, many girls are wasting and giving up their purity at the young and tender age of 13. Many times a girl or guy will give that first kiss to someone they have perhaps been dating, and even though they know that this is not the type of person they want to live and share life with forever they still kiss, and thus the pure young virgin is now a harlot, giving her body away! Kissing will only make you want to do more than just a kiss. And why put someone you claim to care about at a spiritual risk?

Now, a little girl's dream is to get married to a prince and wear a beautiful long and white dress. Time flies and that dream still remains, however, if this little girl grew up to dress defrauding and be a flirt, and lets say that her very first kiss was with the neighbor boy, then her dream of wearing a beautiful white dress should in my opinion be changed to a black dress. This may sound harsh, however, she has messed up, and yes God will forgive if she asks, but if she continues on with this way of lifestyle, she needs a black dress! We make our own choices, and some of those decisions will give yourself away. Black and white will turn to gray, and we will eventually crumble, it's a slow fade and Satan is trying to device you in thinking that purity now a days is old school. No, it is hard to keep that heart pure and our purpose is to wait for God to work and not for us to go out on our own and look for Mr. Right, or Ms. Right. Don't you want your wife or husband to have the thought of, "Wow, my spouse waited for me, and I don't have to worry that she/he was someone elses before."

The first kiss is something done at the altar and just think of how good and romantic that will feel. You waited and respected others for their will of purity. I even believe that the kiss should have no place in the courtship or engagement. Listen to a story I once heard; a young man and woman found each other and courted for awhile until the young man knew in his heart that it was the princess he wanted and thus asked his future bride to marry him. Nonetheless, they both decided to not have any form of physical contact and especially NO kissing! As a result to this, the two remained pure by God's strength and shockingly, they discovered that they were not meant for each other. However, this young man is thankful to this very day that he kept his purity and that he didn't give his special kiss to the girl he thought was his. This story helps me to continue head strong with my purity.

Alright, to sum things all up I will leave y'all with a few more words. God says in Hebrews that the marriage bed is honorable and it should be kept until the first kiss was done at the wedding ceremony. Our number one temptation every single day is that we lean into our own understanding. We define everything with how it fits our own needs. This works just with the fact of kissing. We need to leave this up to God when the first kiss comes, and even if we don't understand why, just believe God and trust in Him because His timing is far better than yours. The first kiss is something special, and I bet it feels good because deep down you will know and you can tell your spouse that, "My very first kiss!" You also want a wife or husband that has kept their kiss and overall purity for you. You deserve their reward, and they deserve yours. Save your kiss, save it, save it, save it! This is the part of a couple, joined together, and taking each other and showing love by kissing each other. Lock it up in a box, and when the time comes, take it out, and thank God as well as your future spouse for keeping me pure. Ok, last thing that I want to share with y'all is one more short story of a young lady and man.

A young lady and man went through the courtship and it came to the point of engagement and they committed to be pure always until the wedding ceremony with each other. After many months of waiting and the long hours of patience, the special day arrived. The young lady put her beautiful white dress on, and walked down the aisle with her father seeing her soon to be husband waiting for that perfect and special gift. In conclusion, the moment the pastor said, "You may kiss the bride!", she whispered in the groom's ear saying, "Thank you for keeping me pure and respecting our decision!" Amen and hallelujah, save that kiss!

Waiting to express your love physically lays a strong foundation of trust for your marriage!

11 comments:

Life Savior said...

Sounds good to me.

kade

Southern Maiden said...

I see what you mean, Vani. I think saving the first kiss is important because it reminds me of the promise and covenant that a man and wife make to each other on their wedding day. Ü The saying is "the deal is sealed". What seals it? Their devotion and promise, yes, but the kiss seals the deal for everyone to see. This is a funny topic to discuss, but kissing is placed as such a normal thing these days.... but it's really a personal thing that you share with someone. It's a mutual statement of affection - of LOVE. I don't want to share that statement with one who might not be THE ONE before I'm married - publicly or privately!!!

Anonymous said...

So true....
-Lisa-

Abby Fields said...

I went to this thing at my church about dating vs. courtship and there was a panel of married couples up there, with different backgrounds. One of the couples, the guy at least, works at a church as a Youth Group Leader and he said that there is that whole lie that, "You have to find out if you are physicall compatible..." but his wife waited to kiss him at the altar, so he had a really good point of "to my wife, who had never kissed anyone before, I was the best kisser ever." If you don't have anything to compare it to, you will be satisfied. Just a thought... :-)

Moriah said...

Awesome post Vanessa! I want my future husband to save his first kiss for me so why wouldn't I do the same! It is very hard to do this in our culture today, but we can't let the culture tear our beliefs down! :) Again awesome post Vanessa!

Allison said...

I like the stories you shared along with your post.

Great post! :)

Elena said...

Another great post!! I TOTALLY agree with you!! Thanks Nessa for all this AWESOME advice!! Helps me A LOT!!

Moriah said...

I awarded you!

Priscilla said...

That is all true. Do you think it's ok to hold hands or anything? I thought it was, but I want your opinion.

Maiden of Purity said...

Priscilla,

Would you be more precise?! Do you mean when a guy and girl are courting in an engagement, or just being friends?

Daniel said...

Really good post, while I do agree with your definition I was wondering where you came up with it. I do like your point about the dress, though if the person is repentant (even if they have go so far as to have sex) then if they want they should wear white. I say this because A. We are forgiven if we are repentant, B. Marriage is supposed to represent the union of Christ and the Church, and the Church is pure.

I unfortunately have made that mistake (and if God wills it I do hope to marry her someday but thats a whole nother story), and not to spoil anyones fun lol, but while kissing is enjoyable, it's not something to worth risking so much over. Pretty much anyone you ask is going to characterize kissing as prep for sex, so does it seem very wise, and even God honoring, to get ready for something that you are not supposed to do before marriage? Thats like standing on the very edge of a cliff on a really windy day and hoping you don't get blown off. (poor analogy I know :D)And it's easier of you both if you have not built a ton of emotions into it, if you are very strongly attached to the other person it is so much easier to fall.

Just one more thing from a guys perspective, when you are that close to a girl, and interacting physically with her it makes you want to go further A LOT further. Which in marriage is good, and it's supposed to work that way, but not very healthy outside of it...

Just thought I would throw my two cents in.
Daniel