Monday, June 29, 2009

What Are You Doing With Your Body?

The other day while I was in Chicago with my family, I noticed how insane our nation of teenagers and young adults are! It happened to be a very hot day, and I did know and was already prepared to a certain extent of how some of the girls were going to dress. Nevertheless, to make me even more shocked, there were guys where I just thought, "How can you be so bold?" Thus, the topic of this post will be all about, "What are you doing with your body?"

I may actually end up being a few times quite bold and blunt, however, it will be the plain truth. I have prayed about this certain issue a few times, and asked God how I could post it up on my blog, with what type of words, and how to bring my message I have in my mind across. Thus, this morning, as I was praying, God pointed out to me that I should just get on my blog, and begin writing, and the words will just pour out!
Almost everyday I come across people that dress to impress or those who will put clothes on with the attitude of "This will get so and so, or maybe I will have many guys look at me!" I don't have to go very far, just in my neighborhood I see young girls dressing impure, and the way they walk is very disturbing. Ok, this whole post will not be on us girls, I will squeeze in guys as well. I have three brothers, and also know other guys. I have heard a Christian guy's perspective on this many times as well, "Why make it harder for us?" When I hear this, my heart just screams, and I want to go to every girl and tell them how much it's killing the guys! They are the ones suffering from this impurity, and from the actions and dress of a girl. I have been to churches in the past, thinking that this is a time of fellowship and moments to encourage your friends in God's way. Nonetheless, to my shock I was seeing girls and guys flirting with each other. Seeing that they were at church just for the opposite gender. Why take your body out and give it away? For what purpose? When we dress with little on us we are giving away ourselves to whoever. The moment we see a pretty girl walk across the room, or a stunning guy, some of us may experience sweaty palms, beating hearts, or impure thoughts. This is the one that struck me, having thoughts of this person which is so hurtful and not pleasing to God at all!
We have control of what we think, our thoughts are like a taxi, we can tell the driver where we want to go, and that is just like our thoughts. We can say and determine enough thinking of that, but do we choose to? Teenagers of this day and age are blinded, they don't see the danger and don't see the harm they are doing to others. Girls will wear their skimpy tops, and guys will perhaps go topless, and why do they do this, just to get the attention of others. A normal guy's reaction when he sees a girl who knocks him of his feet will think sinful thoughts, and will have a difficult time of blocking those. Now, when a girl sees a guy who is shockingly good looking she will often think of wrong thoughts, but it is a little bit easier to block off those thoughts. I sometimes think, why can't they just put more clothes on? It bothers me because it is going against God's standards and just imagine how much He is hurting?
Honestly, you are giving your body away when you just hang it all out. You are purposely taking either a girl's or guy's thoughts, and capturing him/her with your ways and dress. It may be hot outside, and yet why dress with the least possible? Your body is for yourself at the moment while being single and then someday when you marry, that is for your husband or wife alone. Not for 100 guys looking straight at you with their mouth hanging open!
When a guy looks at a girl, and if he allows his thoughts to go farther, then he has committed adultery with her in his heart! Although, who caused him to stare with lustful eyes? A half naked girl did, one who didn't care about anyone, but herself and just wanting all the attention on her. Of course, we all have feelings, and emotions and even a guy or girl modestly dressed will often cause us to fall off our feet. It happens, but the majority of teenagers in this country are foolishly dressed with little care!
Why do you want your body to be looked at? Don't you just want one husband or one wife? We are causing someone elses spouse to fall down and are making a big mistake here. If we happen to think of so and so, evaluate and think, you are actually thinking of someone elses spouse! That right there really hit me and made me think. Please don't put clothes on just to catch an eye or two. Dress to glorify your Father in heaven. Even you guys out there can dress quite disturbing, and going around shirtless in the park, is not honoring your Father in heaven! He gave us our bodies to treat with dignity, and also for one special person someday. Low cut shirts girls are a big stronghold to guys, and those tiny, tiny shorts will damage his thoughts. And guys, your thoughts can be controlled, and I have no clue how hard it must be, although, when you do see a pretty girl please call unto God to take away all impurity and sinful thoughts! Girls, don't have the thoughts of, "Oh, I want to dress the way I want! He can control his eyes from looking at me!" This is wrong, why hurt your brother in Christ, why cause him to fall into a deep sin? We know that he has a problem with this, and please don't irritate it.
The next time you dress for an occasion, ask your Father in heaven, is this appropriate? Will this make my brother or sister in Christ stumble? Or are my actions immodest? How can I be an encouragement to them, and just show that I do care how I treat my body, because I want to keep it for the marriage bed! "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4
Save your body, and that kiss for that special person someday. God will honor your self-control as well as your purity. There is nothing better than talking with brothers and sisters in Christ who act blameless and with a pure heart!


Southern Maiden said...

Oh man Vanessa, that's a great post! Very bit is true, and we DO need to help out the guys! Good job. Ü

Southern Maiden said...

Hey I meant EVERY bit! not very bit! haha, sorry!!!

Joshua said...

Once again, I have to say it's really nice to know that there are at least a few girls out there that understand that it ain't easy on us guys (and yes, I let the 'texan' in me come out in that last sentence! ;-) Anyway, this is something I was talking about with a good friend of mine and one of the things I thought about is the fact that girls aren't just hurting guys, they're hurting themselves! You sort of mentioned this in your post, but girls don't even realize that they're tainting their own purity when they dress in a defrauding manner.

Okay, so I have a question for you now! ;-) Does it make girls have impure thoughts when they see guys shirtless? I know that guys have a much harder time than girls do with looking at things and struggling in certain areas, but how hard is it really on a girl to see a shirtless guy? Just want to hear another girl's perspective! :)

Allison said...
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Anonymous said...

I agree with Joshua, can it really tempt a girl when a guy is shirtless???? I would really like some other comments from other girls on this issue too. What about when you go to the pool?? Thanks for taking the time to answer.


Maiden of Purity said...

Hey Joshua,

Great question, and it's kinda funny how you turned the plate around this time and asked me a question! :)

Ok, so, does it give girls impure thoughts when we see a guy shirtless? Well, as for myself, I do know that it makes me feel uncomfortable when I see a guy walking around shirtless. I feel as if he is just trying to get attention and also wanting maybe some laughs, because I used to know girls that would laugh and giggle when a guy was shirtless. It does not really give me impure thoughts, but instead a thought of, "Why is he doing this? And does he like me?" Thoughts like that, and then I would watch how I was acting around him. I did have a situation before where there were 3 guys all shirtless walking in circles around me. It gave me the creeps, and I felt sooo disgusted! I wanted to run away, thoughts of impurity did not enter my mind but thoughts of, "I think he likes me" did make its way in.

In addition, when I see a guy who is shirtless, I have the overall impression of, "Ok, he's really trying to get me with his best looks." Or when I see guys walking around that I don't even know, it bothers me to a tad that there's no use in doing it. Going shirtless for a guy is for a girl walking around in a skimpy bikini. That's how I define it, and yes, I do have to admit, sometimes if this guy is catchy, wrong thoughts will sneak in. Ok, Josh, is it really true that guys have struggles with the way girls dress, just the way I described it in my post?

Jake, no, it's not really a temptation, but rather a disturbance, and especially a girl like myself who is trying to be pure. It's hard for girls, believe me. We struggle a lot with thoughts, I know many girls who have trouble with controlling their thoughts and emotions when it comes to guys. Well, going to the pool, um, that's a tough one. I know that everyone does it, and it's I think a little bit different. Although, I do know a guy and he wears t-shirts in the pool, and to be real honest, it makes me feel a lot more comfortable. Knowing that if I were to bump into him I wouldn't have to touch his bare skin. Make sense? Now, there are guys that look good with no t-shirt, but still that's no excuse. Looking good or not, I believe that we should all cover up!


Anonymous said...

Hi Vanessa!
I liked your answer, because that's exactly how I feel!
Well, about girls dressing modestly, I'm just glad it was something my parents were always very firm about. And I'm so glad they were, and are!

Allison said...

I wanted to give Vanessa a chance to answer your question, but do you mind if I give my input as well?

I don’t think impure thoughts when I see a guy without a shirt, but to be completely honest, I think it’s gross! I don’t like it at all and am not very comfortable around a guy without a shirt. When my dad preached from Gen. 3 a while back he mentioned how the coverings God gave Adam and Eve after the Fall went from the neck to the knees (anything less was immodest), so that’s basically one of our standards in our family—for boys and girls. (Obviously we don’t categorize it as some command that you HAVE to follow or you’re sinning, but that’s generally what we do!) So no, it doesn’t cause me to think wrongly, I’m just not comfortable with it!

So Jake, when we swim my brothers wear quick-dry shirts (like exercise/active shirts); or one of my younger brothers wear a basketball shirt. They're better than t-shirts because they aren't so clingy, don't make you drag in the water and don't take forever to dry.

Maiden of Purity said...

Thanks Allison for chiming in and giving your input!

Your answers really helped and yeah, you're right, it does make us feel uncomfortable! I just think of it nasty, and totally senseless! Actually, you probably sweat more without a t-shirt on a hot summer day, because nothing is there to catch it! lol :P

Joshua said...

It's always good to hear another girl's perspective so thanks for the input! That's kinda what I've heard before but I just wanted to see what others had to say! See for a guy (and this will answer YOUR question Vanessa) a defraudingly dressed woman will almost always cause a man to look and if he doesn't look away and continues to entertain that image, he will more than likely think in an impure way about that woman. I know that may seem pretty blunt, but guys are VERY visual. So yes, guys do have a tendency to think that way if they see someone inappropriately dressed, but we fight it. I like to say that during the summer months, guys can get very well acquainted with the floor! ;-) Thanks for all the input and you did a great job with this post!

Maiden of Purity said...

Ok, glad we answered your questions! And your comment was quite blunt, but hey, it's the bold truth! Girls don't wanna hear it, but they gotta, and guys just wanna keep staring because it brings pleasure! Oh, and for your second to last sentence, that made me laugh out loud! Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving 'long' comments! lol!!


P.S. Looking forward to meeting you and your family! :)

Leah said...

Hi Vanessa,

I totally agree with your post! Unfortunately, many people don't care what thoughts they cause others to think. It is difficult, though, for me personally to find certain articles of clothing that are modest. Such as nicer tops, blue jeans, swim suits, etc. Clothing seems to be designed to flaunt, not cover. It is always encouraging to hear again that there are many people that are outside of my little world that are dressing to glorify God!

It is our job to protect the men around us by not defrauding them by our dress, especially those in our own families! I like to think that the way I choose to dress will influence my younger brothers by showing them how a woman attempting to reflect Christ's character should dress. And, of course, my big brother is more than willing to give his comments on my clothing! :) Thank you for taking the time to post on this.

Maiden of Purity said...

Hey Leah,

Thanks for stopping by and taking your time to comment! I always appreciate when people leave comments and their thoughts, it's something I look forward to throughout my day!

Exactly, you are totally right about brothers being a BIG help when it comes to our attire. And, since you're like me, having three brothers, 2 below and one above, it makes it even better. Being an example to my little brothers, and having my older brother as the overseer!


Allison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Southern Maiden said...

Hey Vani, sorry it took sooooooooo long for me to comment!! (long day, ya know)

Guys -
About the shirtless thing..... that's a good question and a GREAT topic to discuss!!! When I see a guy shirtless, I directly think "Whoa! Steer clear.... what does that guy WANT anyway?" And, like Vanessa was saying, in the pool for example, if I were to bump into a guy who's shirtless and come in contact with his bare skin.... Just like you guys are very visual, we gals are very emotional, and something like that creates lingering thoughts and feelings in us that sort of ... stick. And with a girl (like me and Vanessa and others) who are TRYING their utmost to be ultimately pure, guys can be a stumbling block to girls just like girls can be a stumbling block to guys. I guess visuality is a guy's weakness? Emotional security is a girl's. We are all accountable for each other. Would you guys feel comfortable walking around shirtless in a room full of nine year old girls? They'd start giggling and pointing at you... little girls are an immature reflection of teenage girls.
It makes my heart jump when a guy sheds his shirt! It startles me, makes me feel uncomfortable.... and I'd just rather not even talk to the guy. That should be saved for the guy's wife. Though it seems so normal these days, for purity-seeking girls, it's plain distraction. Hope that helped!!

Girls -

Yeah, I've just gotten to where if a girl and I are talking and she says somehting like, "Yeah, I wanna get my belly button pierced!" I'll say "That's dumb!" just straight out to her face... It's so frustrating that girls are getting so bold (in a bad way) and are selling their bodies to the world. And if they're not, well, that's the message everybody's getting. It's a sad thing, but it makes me more angry than anything... and when guys get earrings..... Oh man, Vanessa you know I'll just try and rip them out! haha!! No, but seriously, our generation needs a wake-up call. We need to get really passionate about our generation and see to it that they atleast HEAR the truth... and let God do the rest.

"The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Proverbs 21:1

If God can change a king's heart on a dime, He can change our weak generation.

Anonymous said...

I disagree with the post you wrote about! I don't understand why its true!!I hope to see you in TX!!

Southern Maiden said...

Another thought.
Jake, if you're at the pool, it's not going to be so big a deal seeing EVERYBODY dressed not in their normal attire, but it's still a stumbling block for me, like Vanessa was saying, if a guy's catchy. I mean, what if he notices the girl staring at him? He might try to talk to her or hang around her group (I've seen it happen). That could end up not so good. So, it's just out of courtesy that you guys keep your bodies to yourselves... hehe, just like we girls should at the pool. I don't think there's a problem with guys wearing shorts (the ones that come past your knees, like from Aeropostale, American Eagle, etc.) if that helps!

Joshua said...

Hi Anonymous...why do you disagree? I'd like to know your reason(s). There are some things that you can't deny that are absolute fact (like how guys and girls are made and how they respond to different situations/stimulus). You can't disagree with the fact that guys have problems with the visual aspect and girls have problems with the emotional. To deny that is to deny the way humans are made. Also, if you don't understand why it's true, what is it that doesn't make sense? Hopefully I'm not coming across as harsh, but I guess I just don't understand why you don't understand! I'd like to hear what your thoughts are. :)

Maiden of Purity said...

Hey, thanks Josh for immediately coming in and trying to back me up. When I read that commment, I didn't like the fact of it stating, "Hope to see you in Texas", that kinda freaked me out! Although, let me tell you who this brother did this! Yup, my 13 year old brother came on in and tried to play this prank on me! :O He confessed, and couldn't keep his smile from coming on. I was a bit upset and shocked, and couldn't believe he would do this! Although, I guess when having siblings you gotta prepare and take anything they do! :)

P.S. Nevertheless, if someone would of really posted a comment like that and meant it, it would of been a good discussion and trying to back it all up!


Kalani said...

Wow! This topic has produced quite some comments!
Here is a perspective from about 15+ non-christian girls from public school regarding boys: "Put your shirts back on!" In Gym class one day while in public school us girls were walking around while the boys were playing basketball with their shirts off. All the girls were talking about how they did not like that. I think it naturally makes a girl not want to look at the boy and it makes them feel uncomfortable. It can really cut communication.
A girl when I was in public school would make evil comments, but she was known for a perverse tounge.

Michelle said...

Hi Vanessa! Another excellent post! Thanks for taking the time to write this.

I was actually getting ready to post an article my sister wrote on modesty that she shares at all our Bellissima Bash's (our online modest clothing store.) I hope you'll enjoy it when I get it posted. :)


Writings of a SmallTownGirl said...

This is a great post...great job...keep up the fantastic writing!

Southern Maiden said...

OK, Alec is hilarious!! I was wondering who that was myself... well, at least your brother was KIDDING. haha!!!

Joshua said...

Hahahahaha!!!! When I first read that Alec did it as a prank I was like, "Haha, that's awesome!" but then I was like, "Aww man, I really wanted to get into a debate!" ;-) Oh I really can't wait to meet that guy! ;-)

Daniel said...

I know this is really old, and idk if anyone will reply lol, but I couldn't help myself when i saw maiden's comment on piercings. Why do you think that a belly button piercing, in and of itself, is so wrong? And why do you think guys shouldnt get piercings?

Daniel said...
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