Vanessa's Week-Random Post

I feel quite horrible to be honest. I have not put a new post up about my series! That's the issue with doing a series, it takes forever to finish them! I have been gone all week. I was at a wonderful friend's house; she just had her sixth baby, and I was there helping her with the other children, and of course holding the new precious addition! It was such a wonderful experience, to be around another family, besides my own, for one week, and to learn their ways. I was basically treated as their own family member. ;-) It was a great time; and yet busy. However, it was my chance to entirely take responsibility of cooking, cleaning, and even doing school with the older ones. I was also away from any sort of media for one week, because this family chose to not have any Internet in their home. Did I have a problem with that? No. It was great as a matter of fact. In any of my spare moments (rarely), I would open my Bible and read a particular passage. Being away from it all was very nice actually, quite relaxing. I also enjoyed the many conversations I had with my friend (the mom), and the talks and all sort which we would have. It was great. Anyways, my week was packed, and sadly, I forgot to being a camera. :( Yes, I know, all of you photographers, probably think I am crazy, because the camera is the only thing you would never forget, however, I am not a photographer, so, I'm entitled to forget! ;D Please, bare with me some more, as I go through this crazy and busy time in my life. I know, I really should continue with my serious, although, as of now, I really cannot find a moment. I am also preparing for my upcoming graduation, trying to get the pictures/invitations done! Thus just a tiny update from this busy blogger!

God bless,
Vanessa

A Few Notes

I went over my past post, and noticed a few things which I left out on accident. I forgot to mention perhaps one of the greatest things; I mentioned it somewhat, nevertheless, not boldly and clearly enough, and thus this post is just a side-note to the past few posts which I have done. I was discussing how we need to be pure and blameless, and how to also fight and combat those thoughts which come on about a certain guy/girl. However, what I did leave out was that we cannot constantly think of this guy/girl and if we block those thoughts off think that's it alright. We need to face them, and share our feelings with our parents about these kind of feelings. Not hiding and covering them up and trying to come across that 'everything' is fine, when it's not. We are to involve our parents in such times, sharing our hearts with them and letting them know that there is a certain area in our life that needs prayer. Girls, share with you father the issues that arise, and yes that's very hard, and perhaps it's easier for you to share with you mother, fine, I'm pretty sure she'll share with your dad! ;) Our fathers know all about guys, and thus they are the greatest advice. And for guys, look at your mothers, treat them with love and respect, that's how a girl wants to be respected and treated. Thus, this is my point, INVOLVE YOUR PARENTS, and not forsaking their authority and wisdom. To stick close to them and God's counsel. We cannot discern what is right and wrong, therefore, it is important to give our feelings to those in authority and over us, we are too young and immature to know what is the right thought and what isn't. We are humans, we cannot be good without Christ, and Christ has set our parents, grandparents, or guardians to be that wise authority and counsel. Ok, that was something which I left out, and just wanted to make clear that this cannot be left out when dealing with a crush, like, or a possible relationship. Our parents are the greatest helps with the Lord's wisdom and guidance!

God bless and keep you,
Vanessa

Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? I looked at my past post and noticed that it said, "February 28th!" And today is April 1st! It has been a busy past month...March Madness! :) I have had many thoughts of posting and continuing with my series, however, the time doesn't slow down for me. I feel like I need 48 hours, instead of 24 in a day! ;-) So, this is a very random post, just telling y'all that I'm still around and alive...haven't forgot about my blog and I am hoping to get a post up very, very soon! Please bare with me good people! I have been busy with work, school, church, music, household duties, being a daughter/sister/friend, and etc., etc., etc.! May you all be blessed this weekend as you reflect upon the resurrection of our dear Jesus!

Discovering God's Plan for the Opposite Gender-Purity (Part 2)

It's a mere wonder why so many are curious about the fact of relationships and the opposite gender. I too have thought about this for a long time and came to the exact conclusion that many want the answer because they want to know what is fine and what isn't and how to succeed in life. There are many questions without answers, however, there is a promise which remains and it just takes time to rely upon God for Him to open the doors and our hearts. I have thought long and considered how I should approach this post and how I can bring the message and point across without being too open about certain issues. So, in this post I will discuss the factors of what to do if I am interested in him/her and what if I he/she is interested in me? These are quite tough to touch, nevertheless, by the grace and help of God, I will bring this post across clearly and perhaps it will touch one of you!

*To begin with, I'd like to mention a few things. Remember, at all times the words spoken here are my convictions, and I'm NOT GOD, and am just one of those people who like to speak the truth, but will not try to imprint it within your mind! Anyways, hopefully that was understood, shall we approach the most common struggles for the opposite sex?!*

Alright, many of you may battle against this topic, and may even say it over and over within your mind, not really knowing how to deal and conquer the temptation of the mind. One of the most common questions is, "What am I to do if I'm interested in him/her?" That is a very difficult question and a subject to cover which is really tricky as well. It is the point where we have to realize that unless God doesn't move and doesn't bring this particular guy/girl in my life, it won't happen. It is the practical message to many, whereas to others they may view it differently. Have you ever thought of the fact that many of us get ahead of God's actual plan? I was in a situation a few months ago, and I actually wanted to shoot the gun before God would, I was getting frustrated and just wanted to go ahead of the ballgame and see what would be the result. Well, as I was making up my mind to go first before God's command, I suddenly got struck in the head wasn't able of doing so because the situation changed and I was avoided from ever doing so. As I look back, I am so thankful that God stopped me from doing what I wanted to do, because it could of resulted badly instead of perfectly. Many of us want to get ahead of God and take Him by the hand instead of the opposite. We believe that we have life all planned out and that He is just there for a protection and a few comments. That is completely off of the line. In order for us to clear find the right answer and future for these touch and critical questions, we need to involve God. So, you may wonder, "I met this really nice and godly guy/girl, and I just have to get his/her number or email because I want to learn more about him/her!" Ever crossed your mind? Keep this in mind, The only way that we can have a God-centered and romantic marriage is if we allow God to take the pen and write out each and every step. The way is often heart wrenching and hurtful, nevertheless, the end reward my friends is so perfect and precious. We are to write a love song with our life, right now and just give it to God. Okay, lets say you are in thoughts and are just mesmerized about some particular guy/girl and really want to know them better, what are you to do; what is appropriate and what would be inappropriate?

• Give it to God


• Guard your thought life


• Don't act differently around him/her

So, first of all, being attracted to a guy or girl isn't wrong, it's the attraction itself. If you simple allow the attraction to take control of your life and turn into an "idol" then that is dangerous and it is causing your initial focus and being to drift away from the real purpose, Christ. If that attraction is causing feelings of all sort of sinful things, then it is wrong, it is also developing heartache for your future spouse. If you are constantly consumed with this person and have taken your actions and decorum away from Jesus, then that is the level of imbalance. Nevertheless, if there is an attraction towards someone, and if you handle it and take it from the belt right away and know how to control it and keep it under the belt then it doesn't have to be labeled as inappropriate. Being set-apart and pure is the right thing, still keeping the Lord as the ultimate lover. Thus, the three points above are some of the best things to do if you feel that strong and lustful attraction creep on.

• Give it to God: We may be deeply attracted to his/her looks, character, heart, motives, and role, nevertheless, if this is not the one God has for you, I'm sorry it will not happen, unless you do it out of your own power. Do NOT allow your emotions to get a toll on you, keep it under that belt. Remember that picture. Take those feelings and surrender them afresh to the love and will of God. He is the only one who can discern your true feelings and love for one.


• Guard your thought life: Did you say, "Ah, the hardest one?!" It's alright, this is one of the hardest things, even harder for girls. It is so tempting to let those thoughts and feeling take a hold of you and capture you. Even if this certain person is everything you desire, those thoughts have no right to be there if it isn't a serious relationship. We are to take every thought captive. There is nothing wrong to notice his/her good and godly motives, but to constantly dwell upon those thoughts and wonder and imagine...yeah, that become destructive for the heart and for the respect of our future spouse. Picture this, if your future spouse were able of creeping within your mind, would he/she be very pleased? Ask God to enable your thoughts and emotions on Jesus Christ-not on another guy/girl. Start praying when those thoughts arise. Memorize Scripture and meditate on it. If you allow your emotions to take you, an error will arise down the road, I don't necessarily advice to pray for that guy/girl when you are thinking of him/her, just because the prayer may become obsessed about him/her, therefore, it is best to pray for another person. Put the message on your forehead that you will not be tempted to allow the thoughts to capture you're true purpose and goal of purity.


• Don't act differently around him/her: This can be tricky and tough as well, since we want to get their attention, right? If you attempt to get out of your way just to impress him/her then your actions are definitely speaking louder than your words and your attraction can quickly morph into manipulation. It is that easy! Keep this in check. "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) As I mentioned before, taking matters into your own hands, just to get his/her look will only bring destruction. No matter how strong those desires and feelings are, there is no reason to let them get ahead of you. Give God the pen, and He will be more than pleased to script and be the Author of your love life. He is very interested, don't think otherwise. Ask for peace and not for higher emotions. We may experience butterflies and bumblebees in our stomach, rid those off, easier said than done, but yield it to God and don't listen to your conscience and feelings, they often lead you off the right path. Remember, man doesn't know any good without God!

Next, what can or do I do if there is a girl/guy attracted or interested in me? So, this may be a tricky one, and I have also been bombarded with this question many times from girls and even from a guy once or twice. Remember to always guard your heart and emotions and to not let yourself get ahead. We are to pray in such situations and are to keep God as the center of our life, married or not married. This is very important for girls, do not share your heart with a guy. It also qualifies for guys, but it is a lot easier for a girl to randomly share her problems and feelings. We are to keep it shielded and the greatest gift is to allow the man to open it with a key given to him by our father. Selecting godly teammates is the absolute goal and purpose. We are far to young to make wise decisions, and that is why we need God to foresee all situations and we are to also include our parents or guardians. Ignoring our parents in such circumstances is the biggest mistake you could make. They know how and what is right for you, even when it often seems the opposite. Take a step back and ask for God's wisdom in every way. We need to move forward in a relationship possible courtship with the perfect peace of God, knowing that we are obeying our parent's and the will of God. Do not rush a situation, even if you're 30, you make think, "Time is running out!" In God's eyes, the time is never running out for His will, He planned it perfectly and will place everything in an ordained and orderly way. He is the one putting the relationship together, building the teammates. Pray, get godly counsel and righteous counsel. Also keep in mind that the guy or girl needs to be a strong Christian, not doubting his or her salvation, but having Christ also at the center of their life and relationship. God will not let you hang, he knows that there is someone interested in you, and if you happen to be attracted to him/her He is the One who truly meets and fulfills the desires of your heart! Just wait, it's a hard a painful wait at times, often with tears, nevertheless, in a few years, we can look back and see that result of waiting as a blessing, either being married to the man/woman of God's will, or being single for His special and perfect plan. I will discuss that more in the upcoming posts.

So, in conclusion to all of this, I just want you to keep it posted within your mind that you are to run to the Prince of Peace and Lover of your soul. Draw unto Him, and He will clearly show you the way for all circumstances. "Draw nigh unto God and He will draw nigh unto you." (James 4:8) It can be a deary and dry wait, or it could be a wait of joy and peace, knowing that the burden is in the Maker's hands. When He is in His rightful place, every confusion and bewildering thing in your life will finally begin to make sense. Keep in mind, He cares more about this area of your life than you even do! It's your love life, and He will make it the most beautiful story, if you just let Him!

In His Will,
Vanessa

*Some of the ideas and information came from the books, "When God Writes Your Love Story", and "Answering the Guy Questions" both from Eric and Leslie Ludy.*

Two Years Old!

Well, this is a random post, and I'm kinda getting tired of writing the next part of the series (it's , coming....soon!) Anyways, today is Maiden of Purity's second birthday! Yep, it's been already two years since I started this blog. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, whereas other days it feels like forever! It has been a good two years, I grew a lot spiritually and my writing style has really changed. I think I have found my true purpose in writing now. So, I just like to remember that two years ago today I started my blog, and it is amazing how many people I have *met*. There are a few bloggers that I have met in person, and then a few that I converse with and have not met-yet. Alright, so one birthday wish Maiden of Purity has (me too) is to find out how many people/bloggers actually visit. So, if y'all wouldn't mind leaving a short comment just so that I can estimate a random number! :)

God bless!
Vanessa

BTW, I am working on my post as I said, it will just be a few more weeks (perhaps)!? I am very busy at this moment and thus need to find the moment to sit down and finish it. Thanks for your patience, I'm pretty sure y'all understand! ;-)

The Problem with Society and the Opposite Gender-Purity (Part One)

A problem with our society is that we do not know how to interact with others. The most troubling aspect of this problem is that we act like butterflies, flirting to another guy or girl when we have 'tried' and 'checked' others out. The average teenager, is immature, absolutely confused, and when we place these factors into a setting where the opposite sex is, then naturally, chaos and disturbance will arise. It is no wonder why so many girls are pregnant these days, or why young boys are becoming fathers, or are addicted to pornography. Yes, our world is so brainwashed, thinking that just because you have entered the 'teen' years that you need a boyfriend or a girlfriend, as well as that your interaction with the opposite sex has to be more 'mature' than when we were in preschool. It is at this point, perhaps around 13 that our peers begin pressuring us to be more active around the opposite sex and open up around them, talk on the phone for a long time, email, facebook, etc., and then they get even more bold and go on dates and all the sort. When someone tells me that they just went on a date, I don't even have to think twice, my blood is boiling, I'm annoyed, and have to work on myself to not rage in anger! It almost seems as if a guy or girl finishes their middle school years and enters high school and the first day they are already standing at a door of troubles. Oftentimes a girl's reaction toward a guy in high school is throwing herself at him in ways such as on his shoulders, piggyback rides, and all the sort. Now, a guy's action toward a girl is perhaps poking her stomach, tickling her, etc. So, it is not a wonder why there is so much confusion and chaos displayed in a high school, or is it? We're talking about hundreds of guys and girls ages 14-18 in one building, around each other for 8 hours a day! Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to be around the opposite sex, but being alone around them is where I'm getting at. Girls who are 13 are appearing to be 17, and this qualifies for a guy as well, all because they follow the trend of their peers, the pop stars, actors/actresses, and they are blinded in the foolishness and chaotic mess. Sexual intimacy is done at young ages, believing that they are in desperate and deep love, but only finding themselves disgusted the next evening, and thus they go on to the next girl/guy. Ok, this next part may be a little open, however, I'm going to say it.

Girls, because of your actions, decorum, dress, and conduct, guys are falling over you. They basically see you as a sex object and nothing else. Wanting you for his desires and pleasure. He may mess around with you, use you up sexually, and then throw you away after he's done and fulfilled his sexual desires. Yes, it's the truth, and so many don't want to hear it because it hurts. And guys, I pity you, the way these girls are coating themselves these days is disgusting, and it may be very hard for you to block off those images and control those sexual desires, although, by the grace of God, you can rid it off, and you can become a set-apart guy. This means that you're completely, absolutely, different from all of the hormone, out of whack, sex-crazed guy! I may have just spoken out of my authority, I'm sorry if I have, however, speaking of such things is what I desire, because there is such a need to hear the truth about purity.

Many fight and war against the issues about their actions and conduct toward the opposite sex. I have had many girls come up to me, practically crying in agony and saying, "How can I act around him without coming across as interested, because I'm not!" Yes, this is a problem with our society. Many times people think just because we're talking to him or her that we have a certain 'thing' going on. If you intend to do all things blamelessly, without impurity, then block off those comments. BUT, if you achieve purposefully to get his/her attention, gaze, touch, then you need to reevaluate your heart and think if this is correct in the sight of God. Do you honestly desire to be sexually active, is this a reason why you are such a flirt? It's such a mess, girls believing that they have to dress or act this way just to get his attention, and guys thinking that they have to act cool and macho just to get his girl to look and daze upon him! I will share from my side now.
When I am around guys, I don't purposefully attempt to be a flirt, joke around, or try to be the center of attention. Yes, I DO love to joke around, however, keeping a complete balance to keep things under control. If things get out of control, then others may get the impression that she (me) is all for the attention and affection. It is a daily struggle for many, but talking to God is the greatest thing.

Why does our society face such challenges when around the opposite sex? Why can't we just all act normal? Because, we have this hormone inside of us that says, "Oh wow, he's so cute, or she's so hot!" And when we cannot keep that under the belt, that's when relationships and friendships get our of hand. The world teaches its teens to be in the latest trends, watch the latest movies, magazines, and even have a girl/boyfriend just to be cool. Have sexual intimacy just to say you did it before 18, and make sure that you go every weekend on a date and if it begins to get boring, dump your girl/boyfriend, there are plenty more in this world! Yes, this is true, it's just so sad that so many, Christians as a matter of fact are fogged and cannot see the sin. I have talked with many girls who claimed to be Christians, went to church, etc., and yet wanted a boyfriend badly, wanted to waste their first kiss, and didn't even know what courtship was! One girl said, "Oh, courtship, isn't that the old style, where you stay reserved and practically talk to the guy with a wall in between?" No, it does NOT have to be like that. We can engage ourselves in a pure manner and converse with the other gender, we don't have to be reserved completely, nor nervous or thinking just because we said two words that it was a sin! It is the way you act, the way you intend to come across. Your actions speak louder than words, and yes I stole that from the Bible!

Many people have told me that I sound just like an author, Leslie Ludy, because she is so open. And I'm sorry if I came across as to blunt in this post, I just can't stop myself from not opening the eyes of the young adults. Sexual immorality is an abomination to God, he abhors it. He doesn't just not like it, he HATES it! I have conversed with a young man before, and when I do so, I am always on target, making sure that I have not crossed the line, and have not talked about nonsense such as, whatcha doing, etc. Don't talk about filthy subjects, things which dishonor God and topics which would shock your parents. Converse in a Christ-like manner, making a statement that you don't have to have a girl/boyfriend, and you can talk with the opposite sex in a group of others. Now, personally, I advise young ladies, or gentlemen, to not be alone in a conversation. Things could go a tad out of hand, and you will never forgive yourself, just as a side note. Ladies, if you haven't noticed, guys these days are declining, what I mean by this is that they are becoming weaker and mocked at because so many say that they don't have a back bone and don't know how to be a leader. It is up to you to encourage them in all purity, to make them regain that masculinity and the divine purpose God has for them, such as being a strong leader. Guys, encourage and thank your godly friends who are young ladies for dressing differently and living their life with all purity, don't just think of it as normal, thank them for it. We all need each other, we need to stand together to set the Christian role and not be ashamed of it. Also, girls do not be the initiator of a conversation for relationship. Do not go up to the guy alone and personally, even when you want to tell him something very important which is random to you, it brings a message across that you are stronger in character and are undermining his authority. Allow him to be the one to lead on in a relationship and let him be the one who initiates it; and guys treat a young lady with respect, not like a piece of garbage just available for sexual desires. She is far more worth, and it takes a time to win her heart, guard your heart, each one of you! Please, everyone do not misunderstand me that I'm saying you have to completely away from the opposite gender, this is not what I'm saying, just be on caution and use the biblical principles.

Lift up your hands, look up, cry up, and He is right there. God is just waiting for you to break down, give Him the pen, and He will write your love story. He can write the most beautiful pages and poems about you. Even if you think you will never get married, and you believe that you have to help God, please don't, do not get in His way, He has something so great for you. More of this will be discussed in the upcoming posts, as I will hit singleness, and the greatest question, "What if I don't get married?" Well, may God bless you as you continue to strive for a godly character and life!

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

His Servant,

Vanessa

Adressing Purity: Introduction

Purity, is this a topic which strikes many of you? I have heard from many young people about their struggles and ongoing tests about this area in life. It is as if it is something always occurring daily perhaps. I have been confronted with questions from young girls, asking me, some almost begging me for answers to just have a clear and pure mind. The thought of that comes upon me as almost heart breaking, because so young are these girls and they already are having to go through such struggles and pains of immoral and sinful thoughts. Recently, I have been asked this question and this certain question rises among many of the girls that I converse with. It is such a question which is bewildering, confusing, dazzling, and plain out confusing. Yes, this post, as I am writing it will be about purity once again, because there is such a need of this talk. So many young teenagers battle with this, Christian or not. It is something that many do not know how to handle and deal. Thus, the question which is brought up is, "How do I interact with the opposite sex?" That is perhaps the biggest and most strongest struggle many have. I speak for myself. Many times I ask my own mind, "Is this gesture or behavior appropriate, or am I going a tad too far?" I am saddened by our culture and the way society conducts itself. There are millions of young teenagers who do not know a thing about purity. They just take the step, out of their box and do the wrong thing. Having physical intimacy at such a young age. They do not know how to converse and interact with others, they believe they do, however, when it comes down to the nitty gritty, they don't. They are just a whole bunch of hormone-troubled-confused-teenagers! This may sound bold, harsh, and even weird. Yes, I am a bold and outspoken person, and just as one of my friends mentioned the other day, in this world Vanessa, you're going to have to stand up and be different if you want the truth to be spread. So, lets battle this question and take it down; how do I interact with the opposite sex, what is too much and what is too little?

Well, to begin with, whatever you're doing is that appropriate in the eyes of God? Second, when we say, 'what is too much' then basically we are already stepping over the boundaries and not following the biblical principles. What does God say about the opposite sex, and how are we to deal with them, because they are there. Almost everywhere you go, there is either a guy or a girl, and maybe they're some really interesting guys and girls, perhaps good looking, and breath taking. Although, what is God saying about this? "Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart."(2 Tim. 2:22) Ah, it says it right there, right in Timothy, FLEE, God commands us to not just back off and touch it lightly, but rather to FLEE! Wow, that is powerful! What are we to flee from? Youthful lusts, such things as pornography and sexuality. If you are weak to such things, then by all means do not surround yourselves with such temptations. I know that some guys are feeble and not strong at all when it comes to filthy images, and sexuality, then the best way to stop those emotions and feelings is to walk away and not return to that way and path of living. Ok, so I have drifted a little bit from the main purpose of this post, but those were some things which I had to address. Alright, conversing with the opposite sex, that's where I left off.

I know that some Christians are completely against this and command and practically dictate their children to not involve themselves with the opposite gender and to be completely biased towards them. Ok, as for myself, I cannot imagine that. I do know that it is godly to interact with the opposite sex with caution and of course other guidelines. We are not to through ourselves at them, nor purposefully want to be in their presence, or perhaps even this, email or anything else to get their attention. It is very hard not to do this. And I have admit that one of my hardest things is not to come across as too friendly and flattering. So, how are we to act and talk with the opposite gender? You may think now or even ask yourself, "Am I to be a hermit and totally isolate myself?" No, not at all, BUT, don't go the total opposite and cling to the opposite sex. Instead, act with all purity and godliness. Ask God how you are to act around a guy or girl. What is it that He qualifies and justifies. I know that it is very hard, and for some of us, it isn't at all. I have talked with both guys and girls about this, and actually, if I average it all out, the girls have the hardest struggle with this because they want to be so kind and it is very easy for a girl to become emotionally attached and attracted and also as being a girl we desire to have a prince charming and by getting to know a guy we try to find out if he is interested in us. As for guy, this is a slight difference as I had the opportunity to talk to a few guys about this. Yes, they do desire to marry, however, they do not get easily attached, but rather they have the tendency to talk about girls and also imagine however, not so seriously be ready for something major. A girl can think of her future with someone she may like in less than 5 seconds if not careful. As for a guy, this is a little bit different. He often sees a girl in a different perspective, more drawn to the girl because of her beauty. Both ways are wrong, imagining our future with someone just because he may be cute, or drawn to a girl just because of her beauty! Absurd. Believe me, I used to be like that; thinking just because he looks 'all fine' he must be fine. Nevertheless, over the years of my youth, God has changed my thinking, and I am by all means not attracted to just a simple guy, he has to be a warrior poet, one who can capture my heart with his motives and actions, not just because he may appeal to be awesome, we're talking about a person who you live with for life! Ok, so how do we treat each other in everyday life? How are we to build a healthy guy/girl friendship? What kind of conversations are honoring? Is it true that my decorum can be shown in my body language? What should I do when I'm attracted to a guy or girl? What about the fear of being single for life? And how to deal with the opposite sex whether in conversations, actions, or motives. All of this will be discussed in the weeks to come. God is the one who planted within us love and romance, so who is better than Him to turn to counsel? Alright, I just decided that I will continue with this and it will become a series.There are so many topics that I wish to touch, and it would get all to long to do it in this post. So, my fellow friends, till next time and may God bless you in the weeks to come, stay tuned!

In His honor,

Vanessa

My Journey, His Calling!

*Ahem*, I may start this post as *ahem* meaning the *ahem* comes from you because it has been so very long since I have had a meaningful post up! So, this is the ONLY moment where you as the reader can be a tiny bit upset and do the *ahem* thingy, reminding me that I should blog more often! Well, as I have said, this has been the longest break that I have ever taken from my blog, to be honest, it was probably the best decision I made. You see, during these weeks, yes I have posted random posts, although, a post where I really dig into something was probably dated back in September! God has been showing me, teaching me, reproving me, chiseling me, and growing me these past months. I have learned to completely surrender to God and die to myself. Meaning, I am nothing, and without the will and hand of God, I will never be something. It may sound as if I am very confusing, nevertheless, give me a chance to explain and then perhaps you will nod your head saying, "Aha, I understand!"
As we get older, it seems as if life gets only harder. There are times where I am often dazzled and confused with so many things. I was even questioning God about many areas within my life, certain circumstances, and other queer situations. As you know, I even had my doubts and thoughts of discontinuing my blog. To my surprise, I received loving comments from my followers and others who encouraged me. I appreciated each one of them and really didn't know how to thank them. There are two followers on my blog and they really encouraged me with their words, I was actually touched and in that moment I heard God. He was trying to get to me all this time, however, I was to preoccupied that I didn't take the chance to just wait and listen. In the moments when we just give up, that is when God can work. I have given up all of my wants, dreams, and desires, I also have stopped understanding the will of God and just follow. It is so hard because I want what I want, nonetheless, because I know that He works when we are broken, I am willing to do that. God has taught me to rely upon Him for all situations. I have had trouble in the past seeing that, and the consequence caught me to pay for the price. I'm pretty sure many of you are curious about your future. For me, that is one of the hardest things to give up, well I won't lie, the hardest! I want to know what is in store for me, but as of late, I have handed the pen over to God to be the Author of my life. Sometimes it is hard to pray because God feels so far away, nevertheless, there is hope in the horizon, and as I always say, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. Whatever hardship I'm going through I may not see the end, but I know that God never gives me something unbearable to handle. I stand amazed in the presence of my Lord, because I know that what He desires of me is something that I cannot fully comprehend at this time, and Him just holding it back from me is not selfish, however, a lesson of pure patience. Boy, I'm a very impatient person, and this is why God is teaching me, showing me, correcting me, and humbling me, because I need an extra dose of patience.
Dreams, we all have those sensations, those desires. I have probably the most dreams anyone could have, and it is important to have plans, BUT God has showed me something more important over the months, "Vanessa, my call is going to be your journey!" Yeah, pretty harsh and hard, nevertheless, it is His desire and love that I give up my selfish wants and hop on His back and follow. My prayers were often crowded with wrong things, things which I wanted, and not what God wanted. It wasn't until one morning, that the Lord awoke me, and literally I heard Him say, "You're mine, you're going to have to listen to me now!" I opened up my prayer journal and to my surprise a few of the prayers which I had in there that were probably too focused on the things of my heart, were gone. Now, that may sound ridiculous to you, but if you know God, then you know exactly what I mean...they were GONE! I knew that it was no longer about me, no longer about Vanessa, the girl who wanted things in order, but about God.
I could go on and on because talking about this change within my heart is something so exciting. Yes, I still fail in many areas, and those areas need to be turned because my heart needs to be completely God's, and if I'm sinning in some part then I'm holding onto something else. So, all of this is a brief explanation of my absence, and of the teachings which God has done through me. The biggest lesson which I have learned is that whatever I want may not be of God, thus I am am a meek child before the great Creator; all what He desires of me is what He will get. I look forward, with much anticipation for His plans, because they will be far better than mine. I am not my own, and my journey on this earth is not mine either. Therefore, this quote has been such an encouragement as well as an eyeopener, "My journey is His calling!"

My Family...

Well, I promised to y'all that I'd post a picture of my family. This is our Christmas picture, of course, it looks better, more clear, when it is printed out, although, that is kinda impossible to do, because I don't even know half of y'all! :) Plus, in a few days, perhaps before Christmas, I will post a post up about the moments I had throughout the weeks I was gone. God taught me a lot, and the other day, a good friend of mine mentioned how I should briefly share what the Lord has been doing and teaching me. I would love to go in ever detail, nevertheless, it would be very long. Also, I appreciate each one of your comments on each post, and I know that there are many of you who view and do not comment, I still thank you! More next time!

Oh, That's How She Looks Like!

So, I bet many of you have wondered for some time how this private blogger looks like! Well, I haven't been on much lately, and never did post pictures, until the other day when the idea popped into my mind to do so! Thus, that picture on the side is...this blogger! Yep, that happens to be me right there. I'll be posting a picture next week of my entire family. I would do it sooner, but it is our Christmas picture and I will be sending it out to others who follow and view my blog and I want them to see it before it gets on my blog! For those waiting, just have patience, and know that the girl who writes all of these posts, no longer remains mysterious!

What Shall I Do?

I have been away for a few weeks, actually more than a few, more like many. I have been in many thoughts and sensations these past weeks, dazzled with many emotions and feelings, and yet always had the thought of, what is the exact mission and purpose of my blog. I have even considered discontinuing my blog, however I have had a friend and my brother state otherwise. They both told me to continue this ministry and to pursue what God is telling me to do. I have developed a sense of confusion and to be honest with all of you, a complete blank mind on what to do. When I first began this blog, my initial intent was to encourage young girls with emotional, physical, and mental purity, and to be a strong and powerful light for Christ. As months went on, new bloggers approached my blog, new comments were seen, and the vision and purpose which I had gradually shifted to something else. That 'something else' is a thing that I do not even know. I have prayed to God for weeks, just wanting to know my plan and purpose here in life, as well as for my blog. I was very much into my blog months ago, and suddenly, my life has taken shifts, turns, and changes. Situations which I cannot control, and some which I have all the power to handle. What a comfort it is although to just run into the hands of God, crying out all of the tears and hurts, just knowing the there is an ultimate peace and love in the God of salvation. My friends, I highly appreciate your dedication to this blog, even though I have been gone. The comments which I have received are so encouraging, so uplifting, and so refreshing. My words can never thank you enough, some of you I do not even know, but I feel as if I have known you long because the blood of Jesus Christ brings us close together. Yet again, I have turned from the exact meaning of this post. I still do not know what my purpose is for this blog. I do not even know if I am touching lives with this site, perhaps it is something that I want, and God is telling me otherwise. Perhaps you can sense confusion between the words? I know that I do not have to carry the weight of who I am, because God has His all forgiving love on me. At times I feel alone, just wanting to be with God, because that is who I am. I know that I am a treasure in the arms of Christ, and if He wants me to continue my ministry on this blog, then so be it, nevertheless, if I feel a sense of the opposite, then I will choose to follow that call and leading. As I have said before, this is all a thought; God is my source, my hope, and through my struggles He will be there, not letting me go through it alone. Even when I feel like it at times. I call and He hears me, I feel empty, but I'm holding on, because He's with me. Even though I'm walking through the valley of the shadow, His love will cover me!

God Bless,
Vanessa

Long Time...

Wow, I know it's been a very long time since I have posted anything on my blog, however, my life has gone through a few twists and turns here and there! So many new situations and circumstances have come up these past few weeks! Through all of this going on in my life, I have neglected a few things, however, as I come to the conclusion of it, I find that I have not neglected my blog and other things instead my priorities have shifted majorly. Thus, I will not be posting on my blog for awhile, due to some confusion within my life, something I cannot share with y'all, but must be kept personal, it's a time where God is growing and changing His child, reproving me and molding me to make me more like Him. I'm being tested in many areas spiritually, and mentally I am often dazed and fogged about many things. Thanks for your understanding!

Vanessa